#Slop Culture
FACEBOOK Trying To Assert Trademark On Word ‘BOOK’. F**king Spare Us
It’s becoming a small world, with many a Monolith gobbling up all the objects, corporations, technologies, and most importantly, rights that it can. Facebook is one Lord among many, but it should be applauded for how douchey its latest move is. They are trying to assert their trademark on the word book. Yes. Book.
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Video: ANDERSON SILVA Judging Babes In Body Paint. Meathead Smile ++
Anderson Silva isn’t just the greatest fighter in MMA history, he also has a PhD in Swag. Here is the good champion judging a body paint competition in his native land of Brazil. A land where everything makes sense. Save for the poverty and despair and corruption. Mostly just that they have game shows where dudes judge women in body paint. Check it out after the jump.
Otters to Benedict Cumberbatch: Hop Off Our Swag
It’s a well-known fact in the animal kingdom that, when it comes to taking care of business, otters are swagtastic. They are masters at a myriad of awesome feats, like holding hands with attractive counterparts and cracking open clams on their bellies. You know, things that a person like me wishes he could do on a daily basis. And it turns out I am not the only one who is envious of otter supremacy. There is now proof that Sherlock‘s Benedict Cumberbatch has been stealing their swag for a while, and otters are calling him out for his thievery. Check it out after the jump.
‘FIND MY IPAD’ App Leads Police to 780 lbs of METH. Yeah, Mr. White!
Hot diggity, that Find My iPad application works. This story should serve notice to the tweakers of the world. If you snag an iPad, don’t leave it hanging around six years worth of meth busts waiting to happen.
‘TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES’ Co-Creator: Give Michael Bay A Chance.
TMNT co-creator Peter Laird is speaking out about Turtlesarealiensgate, and he’s suggesting that we all like give Michael Bay a chance. The problem is when you listen to his protestations to our protestations, I can’t help feel like the dude is just fucking with everyone.
The Dude’s High 5’s: Top 5 Things I’d Buy If Money Was No Obstacle
The last two High 5s have been about something from the entertainment world. Because I don’t want to just throw pop schlock out there every week, I’m changing it up. This week is all about stupid shit I’d buy if money was no object. Come on in and toss your stupid dreams in the pile.
Face of a Franchise: TV Scientist!
[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]
Those who try to tell you that we’re living in the year 2012 are wrong. Well, they’re not so much wrong as they are missing the bigger picture. When you step back and look at all of the technology at our disposal — instantaneous global communication, metal eagles that carry us in their hollowed-out torsos, 4D movies — there’s no denyin’ where we’re living.
The future.
As residents of the future, it’s our duty to make sure that the next generation will continue to revere not only technological advancements, but also the sciences that create them. Kids’re all sorts of crazy-good at playing video games and sending text messages and even making music videos, but they don’t usually want to know how all this shit is possible. And they won’t listen to their parents! They think that parents just don’t understand! Consequently, we must seek the assistance of those folks that kids actually trust.
Television personalities.
But a new question quickly emerges – which wacky television scientist reigns supreme? While there’re plenty of contenders, two have baking-soda and vinegar’d their way to the forefront. Let’s take a look, shall we?
From 1992 to 1997, Beakman’s World graced Saturday morning television with equal parts scientific discovery and zany comedy. Each episode saw the titular Beakman (portrayed by Paul Zaloom) performing all sorts of experiments in an attempt to learn the kids a lesson or two. However, Beakman’s laboratory was a haven of hilarity, attracting such veritable characters as his female assistants (the strangely attractive Alanna Ubach during the golden age known as season one) and Lester, the anthropomorphic lab rat.
Hyperkinetic, crude, and wild-haired, Beakman is the perfect mad scientist to teach the kids about the wonder of science.
On the other hand, from 1993 to 1998 Bill Nye the Science Guy offered a more academic exploration of physical properties and empiricism and all that other jazz. Host Bill Nye did his best to foment keen interest, using kid-friendly television techniques like fast-motion and kooky graphics. Unlike Beakman, Nye steered clear of theatrics and fart-jokes, preferring to keep his laboratory and bathroom separate. Which isn’t to say that Nye was a stick in the mud, as nearly every episode ended with a gut-bustin’ music video parody.
Dignified, jocular, and kempt, Bill Nye is the role model empiricist that we hope our children become.
So, who’s the better television scientist — Beakman or Bill Nye?
A PIMP’S Android Pattern Lock Defeated The Feds. Lock Screens +1
I have a friend who has an Android and I can never guess his dumb fucking lock pattern. So I just do it so many times that it locks itself out and then I laugh at him. Depending on your perspective, I’m in good company. The Feds!
Second REAL-LIFE Batman Pops Up In The Slovak Republic. Oh, Reality <3
Apparently no one has seen Kick-Ass. ‘Cause to compliment the real-life dude bombing around Brazil as the Goddamn Bat-Man, there is now another would-be good doer patrolling parts of the Slovak Republic.
Marketing Group Turns Homeless People Into WANDERING WI-FI HOTSPOTS AT SXSW
Well, what can go wrong with this? I can’t imagine anyone be upset at the exploitation of the struggling and downtrodden for their own gain. At SXSW this year, a marketing group has turned homeless locals into wandering wi-fi hotspots. I can’t believe people are mad.
