Hello out there in the interwebs. It’s time for another ride on Opinions Vary. This week’s topic … spoilers. So if you don’t mind spoilers, or even if you do, step on up, hit the jump and let’s burn this mother down.

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It’s time we had a frank discussion about cash money, and I ain’t talkin’ Weezy. In my years on this earth, I have have always been fascinated by the concept of money, and its effect on people of all walks of life. I find it so mind-boggling that as a society, we all agree that this meaningless paper (or electronic data) has value for goods and services. Be careful, because if you get super high and think about it really hard, your head might explode. Now I know the basics that money evolved from barter systems, and then gold based economies grew about, etc etc. But I thought I would take the opportunity to explore a few different perspectives on the subject that I have come up with in my years of overexposure to the world.

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HEY GUYS. CAFF HERE. I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO DO AN OPINIONS VARY THIS WEEK. HOWEVER, EDUARDO PLUTO STUBBED HIS FUCKING TOE AND NOW HE’S IN THE ER. I DON’T WANT TO SPEAK TOO SOON, BUT THEY’RE TALKING AMPUTATION. LISTEN. I WASN’T ANTICIPATING WRITING ANYTHING TODAY. THE FIRST THURSDAY OF EVERY MONTH IS THE SWEAT LODGE FOR ME. I BUMP A BUNCH OF DIET PILLS DOWN WITH THIRTEEN DIET MOUNTAIN DEWS, THEN I COMMUNE WITH NATURE. AND THE OMNIVERSE. AND THE SPIRIT-LORDS. NEEDLESS TO SAY I’M TWEAKING A BIT AT THE MOMENT.

ANYWAYS.

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[Caff note: Pacific Rim spoilers in here.]

I. Preamble

One of the neat things about such a small, tight-knit community is that narratives can begin to grasp hold. Throughout this very summer, the lot of us have discussed the latest crop of Whiz-Bang Hollywood Fecaltainment. As the movies have arrived, we have all received them in a variety of manners.

More than anything, I think I could be typified as generally disappointed by this latest crop. As movie after movie has been released I have been somewhat entertained. But for the most part, I have found them to be ephemeral, forgettable piles of crap.

Butting heads with even my own brother who (whom?) I typically see eye-to-eye with, I began to ask myself why I’ve been so disappointed. I figured I’d use this Opinions Vary to articulate my feelings. Namely, that this summer’s blockbusters have been bereft of Goosebump Moments, and that I don’t (and shouldn’t) accept middling efforts when this very genre is capable of capstone experiences and inspirational wankery.

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Today’s Opinions Vary will touch on a subject near and dear to my heart.  I am talking about Conspiracies and Conspiracy Theories.

It’s hard to explain my relationship with conspiracy theories.  I love them.  I love listening to them, I love reading about them.  I also love poking holes in most of them as they are largely bullshit.  You see dear reader, I am a skeptic.  Pull up a chair, hit the jump, and let’s break this mother down.

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There’s been a lot of talk this week on Omega-Level about the future of Star Wars. Arguments and counterarguments, both civil and passionate, flourished in the wake of JJ Abrams’ divisive entry in the Star Trek cannon. And now that he’s currently trekking across that universe towards a galaxy far, far way, most of the debating followed that trajectory by warping from Trek to Wars, going from what he’s done with his previous work(s) to what he will do with his forthcoming ones. In turn, it’s all become decidedly speculative and forward-looking, as we all try to get a read (and perhaps a grip) on what is to come. But before we can go forward, it’d be wise to examine why past Star Wars lent themselves to expansive and exciting storytelling—the stuff that truly made us want to go for the ride in the first place (and, ideally, attract us to the prospects of new installments). For this reason, let’s take a look back at the “long time ago” part of the Star Wars equation, principally by discussing the original trilogy in this week’s Opinions Vary.

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Coming out of Star Trek Into Unnecessary Reveals, a slow rolling realization swept over me. J.J. Abrams wasn’t unquestionably awesome. In fact, he was becoming the master of Smug, Self-Satisfaction courtesy of Contrived, Forced Mysteries. Don’t get me wrong. He can get great performances out of folks. He can cut a mean set piece. However, there are other concerns. As I sat stewing, wanting to chop him and the entirety of the Bad Plotting team in the fucking neck, I began to get concerned. You see, this is the ass clown who is the official steward of The Franchise.

I was concerned.

After much ruminations on the topic – involving Divinations courtesy of Blood Letting, Tin Foil Hats, and countless conversations with our own Eduardo Pluto – I’ve come to a conclusion. Abrams ain’t right for Star Wars. Or, at the very least he isn’t the Glory Be Messiah that I (I will take culpability for jizzing all over his initial announcement) originally ordained him to be. Here’s the deal: Abrams could knock it out of the park. Episode VII could rule. I’m allowing for that possibility. But this OV is dedicated to the delineation of my various anxieties involving Captain Lens Flare and Self Back-Patting.

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If you folks are anything like me, you’ve often thought how cool it would be to have super powers.  You also love avocados.  However this Opinions Vary has nothing to do with super powers … avocados might play into it later on.

This week’s Opinions Vary is about Time Travel.  More specifically, where would I like to visit in the sands of time?  Hit the jump and let’s do this thing.

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Imagine, if you will, the following scenario: You’re sitting in a movie theater, enjoying a nicely constructed action sequence on screen. Everything is working and you know the stakes involved because you’ve been paying attention the whole time and the present action, to its credit, is coherent. However, just for good measure, punctuating the sequence, some guy next to you starts to narrate the events, giving a play by play of every punch thrown, every kick dropped, every daring move displayed. And, to top it all off, he’s even thoughtful enough to add some recaps and character motivations, just in case you’re confused about what’s going on or you missed something that happened earlier in the proceedings.

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As a member of the OL Collective, you no doubt traipse about in generated worlds. While the best of these worlds are well-distinguished from one another, they can be sliced into distinct categories. There are Utopian worlds, worlds filled with magic, worlds filled with superheroes, and other worlds filled with dragons. In fact, some are Utopian worlds filled with superheroes wielding magic and thrashing dragons. Mix-and-match. Whatever. And so on.

However, I reckon that we all have our favorite slice of the generated-world nonsense that comes from enjoying the arts and farts. So I’ll ask you gals and guys: what is your favorite kind of fictional world? And does it come from a specific source?

Me? My favorite are there them cyberpunk dystopias, specifically that of Richard K. Morgan’s Altered Carbon and its sequels.

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