#Movies
‘The Sandman’ Netflix series has announced its whole cast and I wish I could care more!
Netflix has announced the main cast of The Sandman. Wee? I guess? Listen, nothing against The Sandman, friends. As well, nothing against Neil Gaiman. But I just can’t find the juice to care about this news! However, maybe you can give me the juice! If you’re excited, you know. Squeeze me. Milk me. Make me…care.
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Darren Aronofsky’s next movie is ‘The Whale’ starring Brendan Fraser. Man, remember Aronofsky?
It’s been so fucking long since I’ve been horny for Darren Aronofsky, especially after his last couple flicks. But, who the fuck knows! Maybe teaming up with Brendan Fraser for The Whale will reignite my loins. I really fucking hope so, since I used to be so hard for the dude. Here’s to auteur-cock-talk, fellas! Pull your hogs out for your faves, or whatever sort of genitals you’re sporting. Be proud! Be horny!
‘Sacrifice’ Trailer: Barbara Crampton helps summon the “Slumbering One” in Lovecraftian horror flick
Yo! This trailer for Sacrifice got two of my goddamn favorite things thrown together into a glorious stew. First we got Cthulhuian mythos! Second we got Barbara Crampton. Put ’em together and you got a horror movie I’m deeply torqued to watch.
Michael Keaton is going to be the DCEU’s Main Batman going forward. Time is an awesomely flat circle.
Goddamn! Michael Keaton is going to be the primary Batman of the DCEU. Not Robert Pattinson, not Ben Affleck. The motherfucking OG himself. This news has me both surprised and positively torqued.
‘Coming 2 America’ Teaser Trailer: Eddie Murphy and the Rest of the Gang is Back (in America)!
Here’s the teaser trailer for Coming 2 America, baby! Which fucking reminds me, I really need to watch the original flick again. Especially, you know, to prepare for the sequel!
‘Nobody’ Trailer: Bob Odenkirk goes full ‘Death Wish’ meets ‘John Wick’ and I’m fucking here for it
Anyone who has watched Fargo or Better Call Saul knows Bob Odenkirk can act. However, did we think he could kick ass? Probably not. However, the trailer for Nobody absolutely demolishes that preconception. This shit looks awesome.
Oscar Isaac officially playing Solid Snake in ‘Metal Gear Solid’ movie. This fucking rules!
Ah, fuck yes! I had completely forgotten this rumor. Oscar Isaac playing Solid Snake in the Metal Gear Solid movie. Whelp! Here’s a glorious reminder, in the form of a confirmation. Let’s goddamn go, fellas! This news got me pumped. In fact, I got my own, heh, solid snake over it.
Warner Bros. is debuting its entire 2021 movie slate on HBO Max same day as theatrical release. Holy fuck.
Jesus fucking Christ, is this ever a testament to the times. Warner Bros. is debuting its entire 2021 movie slate, including Dune and The Matrix 4, on HBO Max the same day they drop in theaters. What a goddamn glorious development, no? Like, I’ll happily see these fuckers in theaters if the vaccine is available. But, if it ain’t? HBO Max, baby!
‘Wonder Woman 1984’ coming to HBO Max and theaters on December 25. Christmas present indeed!
Holy fucking hell, dudes. This is colossal. Wonder Woman 1984 is dropping on HBO Max the same day it hits theaters. Specifically, December 25. What a rad way to pad a shitty Christmas season, no? Now, please, Disney. Give us Black Widow.
Watch: Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter send out a warm message for World Kindness Day. Most excellent!
Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter are out here, fighting the good fight. They’re sending out a warm message for World Kindness Day, and we must all take heed. God bless these two dudes for pushing the excellent message, specially in the face of such cynicism and hate.
