#Movies
Disney’s back in talks to buy Fox and things are reportedly speeding up. Hail, the Monoculture!
So like, is Disney going to consummate this latest engorgement, or nah? I’m trying to figure out if I can be excited about Feige and company stepping in and unfucking the X-Men and Fantastic Four movie franchises.
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First Look: Joe Manganiello as Deathstroke from totally ass ‘Justice League’ post-credits scene
If you were smart enough to duck the boring, uninspired, stunningly chintzy Justice League, then you missed a post-credits scene or two. One of them featured Joe Manganiello as Deathstroke also looking chintzy, and talking to the interminably insufferable EisenbergLuthor. However, should you want a glimpse, the actor dropped an official first look from the aforementioned scene.
‘Black Mirror’ Season Four Trailer: Check out a preview of the episode ‘Arkangel’
Apparently, Netflix is celebrating thirteen days of Black Mirror. The company has dropped a trailer for the episode titled Arkangel to commemorate, uh, one of the days. I ain’t watching it, wanting to keep it all a surprise, but you certainly may!
‘Captain Marvel’ casts Jude Law as its male lead. Well, dude finally gets a comic book movie
Jude Law was sweating being in a Watchmen movie back in the day, but that didn’t happen. Zack Snyder had other designs, like shitting on the property before turning his destructive eyes towards the DCU proper. However, now Law is finally getting into the capes-and-lasers game.
Jake Gyllenhaal rumored to replace Affleck as Batman. Don’t tease me, bro
Rumor has Jake Gyllenhaal as the dude eyed to replace Ben Affleck, should the actor drop the mantle. Like, this is fantastic, and I want it. Gyllenhaal is similar Ben Affleck, except talented, better looking, and ostensibly wouldn’t hate the role with every fiber of his being. Still not convinced? Go watch Nightcrawler and Prisoners and then get the fuck out of my faceee.
‘Rampage’ Trailer: Seriously, The Rock. What the fuck are you doing?
Man. I’ve been binging 1980s action movies this year. And around the time of my twentieth or thirtieth one, I had a revelation. The Rock is goddamn wasted on all of these adaptations, franchise revivals, and fucking disaster porn spectacles. He should be mirking dudes with his biceps and boomsticks and bayonets. Smashing skulls, driving fast, ripping off one-liners. Not, Jesus fucking Christ, running around the city with his goddamn genetically engineered gorilla friend. Fighting other shitty looking monsters.
Like, what the fuck is going on. This looks so, so stupid.
‘Fantastic Beasts’ sequel gets an official title and first look. Everyone looks so fucking lame, dude
Look at this fucking horde of goddamn dorks. They’ll be starring in Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. What a fucking pack of nerds.
Rumor: Matt Reeves already has Ben Affleck’s replacement in mind for ‘The Batman’
What, what the fuck are we doing here? Ben Affleck clearly doesn’t want to be Batman. Furthermore, Matt Reeves already got a fucking replacement in mind. Can we just call the BatFleck experiment over, already?
‘Deadpool 2’ Trailer: Equal Parts Bob Ross and Merc With The Mouth
The first trailer for Deadpool 2 has dropped, and it has dropped in straight fuckin’ Deadpool fashion. It’s equal parts Bob Ross and Merc with a Mouth. Makes sense, right? For, what would this franchise be now, without some self-aware meta sprinkled in with its sleek utlra-violence? Fucking nothing, that’s what!
Ben Affleck says he’s “contemplating” the ‘Batman’ solo movie. Bro, it’s cool, move on
Poor fucking Ben Affleck. He’s all “contemplating” The Batman. Like, dude, it’s fine. BatFleck ain’t your thing. Be free. We won’t blame you. No need for all this deliberation and shit. I’d be exhausted too from starring in these Zack Snyder directed, critically panned, eternally burning dumpster fires.
