This new Star Wars flick certainly ain’t the usual J.J. Abrams enterprise. Leak after leak after leak. One can only imagine the sort of sphincter-tightening anger and fear he’s feeling on a weekly basis as new details dribble out of the Episode VII anus. The latest? Oh just what Carrie Fisher will be up to for six months.

Keep Reading »

Stanley Kubrick passed away fifteen years ago? Dios mio, mang. Getting old. The rickety bones. Mortality’s Scythe is looming, with incontinence already kicking in. I shall apply the momentarily salve of this glorious tribute to Stanny from Alexandre Gasulla upon my rotting corpus, knowing I’ll join Kubrick in the Ether someday (soon?).

Keep Reading »

Snowpiercer finally has its United States release date! And fucking guess what! It may be coming out in the summer, but the Weinstein Czars certainly have buried the release in a pile of the proverbial frosted flakes! Holy shit.

Keep Reading »

I don’t really care about this movie. The trailer did nothing for me. I’ll end up seeing it. Having no standards or principles is hard.

Keep Reading »

There’s a documentary coming out about Dan Harmon – creator of Community, raving mad man, mind behind Harmontown, obese, belligerent inspiration to yours truly. I’m hoping it’s good! That it cuts closer to the quick than the trailer shows. More “this is Harmon dealing with himself” and less “Harmon is ZANY GUY.” We’ll see! Or maybe you won’t. I’ll see. Definitely.

Keep Reading »

Truthfully, I’m at work. So I managed to watch like nine seconds of this before I had to turn it off. Sound issues and all that fucking jumbo donkey feces. But I did manage to see Fury being like LOLWTF I’M ABOUT TO GET FUCKED. And then Winter Soldier is like BURN BRO.

It seems neat.

Keep Reading »

This is a trailer for the upcoming movie Transformers: Age of Extinction. A pseudo-documentary about Marky Funky, his smokeshow daughter, and their quiet life. They find a truck and attempt to repair it in order to fund smokeshow’s college degree. I imagine it’s a quiet film. A contemplative one. Focusing on the bond between father and daughter. Between man and the resilient steel that shall outlast us all. Prolly a Focus Features movie. Not sure.

Keep Reading »

Zack Snyder’s back, having opinions, insights and such. The Poor Man’s Joss Whedon has recently opened up about the fan reactions to the casting of Ben Affleck, Jesse Eisenberg, and a whole litany of other things. Most interesting is his TOTALLY GNARLY TAKE on the DCU, noting that Batman vs. Superman LITERALLY (he loves that word) EXPLODES THE COMICS UNIVERSES. BOOM.

Keep Reading »

Hey it’s a new poster for The Winter Soldier. In case you missed the last podcast (hey! look at this!) I’m pretty excited for this movie. So I’m just going to gobble up the fecal-blasts from the brown-coated entertainment wind tunnel that is Marvel’s Marketing Arm. Yum, yum! A distended belly full of nonsense and whizbang!

If you actually care about this poster, hit the jump. Let’s laugh at it together.

Keep Reading »

The Oscars were on last night! Wee! You know that show, where the famous people decide which other famous people are the most famously deserving of that Golden Totem. Apparently people won things, and there was this really awesome selfie or something.

Okayokayokayokay, enough snark. “We get it, Caff-Pow. You’re contemptuous. We get it.” I’ll stop. This isn’t about me!

Rather it’s about Tom Nelson, who with a wonderful eighteen out of twenty-four correct Oscar predictions has won the first annual OL Oscars Pick’Em Majestic. That’s what I’m calling it. Working title. For his dominant forecast, Nelson has laid claim to a wonderful trophy and dammit if he wants a t-shirt he can have one of those too.

Hit the jump for the the actual winners, the scoring breakdown, and one last chance to talk trash.

Keep Reading »