#Movies
Watch: 50 Cent x Disney = ‘MALEFIFTYCENT’
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‘HERCULES’ Trailer #2: Team Demigods Just Bring It
As a complete fanboy of The Rock, I’m really fucking excited for this movie. And I think I have my expectations properly calibrated to enjoy it. All the film needs to provide is ridiculous dialogue, absurd action sequences, head-scratching plot points, and Dwayne Johnson whupping unfathomable amounts of ass. Judging from this trailer, all will be featured.
Nicolas Winding Refn announces ‘I WALK WITH THE DEAD’ as next flick
Nicolas Winding Refn has made clear what his next movie is going to be. Shirtless Ryan Gosling: Brood and Smolder 2 – The Boogie Down Connection. At least that’s how I imagine it going. Instead it’s going to be some horror flick. Which I guess is almost as cool.
‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’ x ‘STAR WARS’ poster = Galactic mash-up win
Look at this fucking gnarly mash-up poster by Matt Ferguson. You know, I was going to post this tomorrow. ‘Cause today I already jerked off with uncomfortable fervor to the new Guardians of the Galaxy TV spot here on the site. But!, pretty much everyone else and their Mom is posting it. So by tomorrow it’ll be totally stale biscuits. If it ain’t already. CarpeclickbaityaknowwhatImean?
‘GHOSTBUSTERS’ haunting theaters this year for 30th Anniversary Celebration
Oh man. Somewhere right now in this Universe our own Rendar Frankenstein is arching his back in a pants-splitting ejaculation rocket. Yes, it’s true. We are telepathically connected. Yes, this means I get strange boners in the middle of the night when he’s watching Only God Forgives for the 300th time in order to write a term paper about Lacanian Something Such. But it also means that *me* knowing about a Ghostbusters return to theaters means *he* also does. And I imagine he’s happy.
‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’ TV Spot: Send In The A-Holes!
Need some salve to rub on your Wright-rubbed-raw Marvel fanboy tits? Here it is! A delectable new TV spot for Rocket Raccoon’s Merry Band Of Marauders! I’m stoked for this flick. Like, way stoked. Here. Touch my sweatpants if you’d like. Yeah. That stoked.
Darren Aronofsky adapting ‘MaddAddam’ book trilogy for HBO
Darren Aronofsky is taking his talents to television! Which these days seems to be the sexier place for narrative exploration for many creative types. Better yet, Aronofsky adapting a dystopian book trilogy by Margaret Atwood? Sign me the fuck up. TV is the NEW CINEMA, and our Ocular Globes are reaping the benefits.
Watch: PAUL POPE’S SCI-FI SHORT FILM, ‘7x6x2’
If just the idea of Paul Pope doing a sci-fi short isn’t enough to get you to watch this film, I don’t know. You’re probably not one of us! And we shall cast you from this space-ship with stones and poop-filled socks. Seriously though.
JOSH TRANK (‘Fantastic Four’, ‘Chronicle’) directing ‘STAR WARS’ spin-off
All the fucking Disney News! ALL OF IT. ‘Cause, you know. The Mouse owns Marvel and Star Wars, brewing up my childhood in a terrifying Mono-Culture Brew. After Dr. Strange’s directorial announcement yesterday comes today’s Star Wars spin-off reveal. THE MOUSE SHALL TAKE OUR MONEY AND DRINK OUR CULTURAL BLOOD.
‘JUPITER ASCENDING’ delayed until FEBRUARY 2015. To the Wasteland!
You know what movies come out in February? Typically? Cast-off movies. Fallen movies. Movies that the companies have no confidence in, wish to bury, silently hope to ignore until oblivion. And given everything I’ve seen out from Jupiter Ascending, I cannot say I’m surprised it has been banished into The February Wasteland.
