#Movies
Disney wants Chris Pratt for ‘Indiana Jones’ movie
Should anyone play Indiana Jones, outside of Harrison Ford? Of course not. Could I see Chris Pratt being a suitable replacement in a world where Ford must be replaced? Yes.
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‘Fantastic Four’ Official Trailer: Consequences & Sacrifices
I don’t know if this movie is going to be any good, even after watching this first trailer. I will say that Michael B. Jordan activating his powers was dope, and I still really like the cast they assembled. Especially after watching Whiplash and Toby Kebbell’s episode of Black Mirror this past Holiday.
No s**t: Daniel Bruhl playing Baron Zemo in ‘Captain America: Civil War’
When Daniel Bruhl was cast pretty much everyone thought he would be playing Baron Zemo. Now it’s confirmed. Did that shake the hairs off your tits? Are you still standing? Yeah, me too.
Empire’s ‘Age of Ultron’ magazine covers are 1/2 evil robot, 1/2 wonderful cheese
SHOUT OUT TO MARVEL. No matter how fucking wonderfully successful they are. No matter how much virgin’s blood Kevin Feige bathes in while he dominates the pop culture landscape. No matter how much money they make with a furry raccoon. They will! They WILL always have shitty, awkwardly-posed magazine covers and posters.
‘X-Men: Apocalypse’ casts Sansa as Jean Grey, Sheridan as Cyclops, Shipp as Storm
OOPH. My pledge to not fucking tease bullshit in headlines was directly challenged by my desire to not sport enormous, unwieldy headlines. But hey I don’t proofread and I scream “STOP ENFORCING CULTURAL CAPITAL” when people talk about “spelling” something “correctly” so fucking fuck it! Oh yeah this isn’t about me. Storm, Cyclops, and Jean Grey have been cast in X-Men: Apocalypse.
Marvel wants Chiwetel Ejiofor for ‘Doctor Strange’ role
Yeah okay Marvel is considering Chiwetel Ejiofor for a role in Doctor Strange. Fucking GREAT. No seriously. He rules. But more pressing to me? Why the fuck are we spelling out Doctor? I have crusty seminal fluid-fingers and ADD. Typing is hard, I’m distracted. Do you understand how much time typing out the rest of the word WASTES WHEN I COUDL BE TUMBLING BUTTZ? FUCK.
Rumor: Batfleck appearing in ‘Suicide Squad’ before his solo flick. ‘Cause Batman.
DC knows what you want, fuckers! They have studied your genitals’ heat fluctuations. The ones that occur when they murmur superheroes’ names into your ear-brain while you sleep. And they’ve found that you pretty much only give a shit about Batman. So you’ll get him. In everything.
Simon Pegg is co-writing ‘Star Trek 3.’ Yes please!
Simon Pegg is dropping his writing chops across the chest of the Enterprise. The actor, who plays Scotty (not like you didn’t fucking know this), is cowriting the third Trek flick.
Tom Hardy leaves ‘Suicide Squad’, Jake Gyllenhaal sought to replace
Tom Hardy to Suicide Squad: fuck ya’ll, I’m out. Warner Bros to Jake Gyllenhaal: bruh what you up to?
Mega Rumor: Spider-Man joining MCU with ‘Avengers: Infinity War Part 1’
Don’t. Don’t even fucking joke around with me on this one. Don’t even fucking play me, Latino Review!
