OL never dies, motherfucker! Even if I take five goddamn weeks off from a Monday Morning Commute. Like a goddamn bum! I’m here today, man. Trying to rally mind, body, and soul for a little interaction. How is everyone doing? It’s just a fucking cataclysmic year, even for those of us most fortunate. For example, yours truly.

The synapses may be rumbling along at a tepid pace. Zoom classes may absolutely fucking suck. But, I’ve still got a home, health, and a job. That’s a victory in most years, especially so in 2020.

Furthermore, it’s not like working from home doesn’t have its advantages. No commute! Getting to spend more time with Sam. And right now, I can glance out my windows and watch the leaves fall. Peaceful. As. Fuck.

Anyways folks, here I am. Per the function of this column, I’m about to run down what I’ve been enjoying as of late. You know, the shit that’s titillating, despite my depression, anxiety, and general fear of both The Future and the Now.

I hope you’ll join me in the comments!

Keep Reading »

Mamma mia! Take a depressed dude (hi!) and mix-in some insane work schedule, and what do you get? Just an absolute fucking absence from the digital universe. Specifically, his own Space-Ship. For that, I’m sorry. Apologies, my friends! Apologies. I’m trying. And I suppose that’s really all any of us can be doing in the Year of Misery, 2020.

Shit’s just hard right now! Damn hard. Which means I’m retreating into a cocoon of silence, watching my favorite comedies such as Always Sunny for momentary amusement, and trying and failing to sleep.

Keep Reading »

It’s a Stephen King quote, friends! But it’s applicable both existentially, and to OL proper! Ya’ll are old friends that I have missed as of late. Lately, I’ve been eating an absolute speed bagging to my proverbial balls. Not even in a bad way, if you can believe it. Rather, just extremely long days sitting in a chair and staring into the void of a webcam while teaching. Immediately followed by a hollowed-out feeling of exhaustion when the daily gauntlet is completed.

Fall semesters are always draining, but they’re doubly draining in this new (and perhaps temporary?) digital world. Everything just flat-out takes more fucking time than it used to. Want to do group work? You can’t just print shit! Gotta assemble individual files for each group’s section, upload said files to Google Drive, check that they’re in the right folder, confirm that they’re shareable. Blah, blah, blah.

Keep Reading »

Aw shit, motherfuckers! Flick the lights back on, and flick your bean, I’m back! You see what that is? A little mania to spice up the fact that my bi-polar ass took some time off from this column! A little sleight of hand that I’ve revealed, by acknowledging my sleight of hand! Anyways, I’m freshly back from the comic shop! Where I snagged a couple comics, lamented the selling out of a couple comics, and generally enjoyed my Saturday jaunt.

I gotta say, comic books are a real great litmus test for my mental health. As a dude with anxiety, the prospect of trying to find sold out issues, catch-up on titles I’m interested in but have been running for a couple of years can really serve as a gauge for how I’m doing. Am I overwhelmed by the situation? Whelp, it’s that time of year where Ian is eating too much pizza, drinking too many energy drinks, and vibrating in sadness. Am I invigorated by this new world to explore? Whelp, it’s that time of year where Ian is working out, drinking water, and vibrating in happiness.

Where am I write now? Somewhere in-between! And I hope to find you full-hogged, flush-cheeked, and excited to Dance The Dance De La Comic Book with me!

So These Are Comic Books, baby!

Keep Reading »

Hey, friends! It’s September, and I hope you’re all settling into the transitioning of seasons. As well, apologies for not penning columns as of late. Or, rather, typing. You know. Whatever the case, transmuting thoughts into symbols which make sense to you all. I’m just in a fucking funk, man. And when that shit happens, my expression-based faculties wither. Don’t wanna do anything other than fall inwards! That said, I’m hoping to blast out the comic books column this weekend, and high-five you fuckers in here.

The source of the malaise? Asides from Dead Cells? I think it’s emanating from a general sense of anxiety about teaching online, and the sadness that comes with it. Just not stoked, man. At all!

Keep Reading »

What’s up, friends! We’re closing in on the end of summer, baby! Bummer. Bummer! However, this weekend seems pretty fucking rad, at least for me! Not only are we finally starting Dead Cells 5BC, but there’s a new Bill & Ted movie to consume! Most righteous, you know? Anyways, let’s not rub around the hole too long! Time to just go right in! In to what? Why, Weekend Open Bar.

Keep Reading »

Hey, you fucks! Here’s a couple of clips for you. First off? Honestly, one of my proudest moments playing Dead Cells on stream. I refuse to heal after that punk-ass Conjunctivius fully infects me with malaise. Come for my dodging and dancing, stay for Bags’ amazing reaction to it all.

Keep Reading »

Salve, bitches! That’s Latin for “hello” and pretty much all I remember from four-years of taking that language. How is everyone these days? I hope you’re hanging in there, given, you know the circumstances. What circumstances? Throw a dart at a board of world topics. Whatever it lands on? That circumstance, among the others.

That said, ain’t doing too badly over here. Surfing these waning stages of summer both in terms of the weather, lifestyle, and vacation. As I’ve oft indicated, this is one of my favorite times of the year. However in many ways, it feels like a sort of holding pattern. I can sense that Fall and the semester are looming, which leads to a bit of anxiety. At the same time though, I got myself open evenings and late rises. It’s a liminal space, and it ain’t the worst place.

I know! Oh, god, do I know. Know what? That in about seven weeks I’m going to be looking back longingly on this specific moment in space-time. You know, as I’m buried under my first or second wave of papers to grade, with seasonal depression tag-teaming with my usual state of mental illness. Really just blasting my balls, the two of them taking turns. Occasionally teaming-up for an impressive tandem move.

Anyways, you all know the fucking rigmarole here. It’s Monday Morning Commute! What are you fuckers up to this week? What are you basking in, as the days grow shorter, the air grows colder, and Autumn begins to walk into the room?

Keep Reading »

Yeah, I butchered the mantra of Cobra Kai to kick this shit off. However, it seems more apropos for a weekend column where I encourage everyone to fucking relax. I mean, no? That said, I’m deeply entrenched in Cobra Kai’s actual mantra, especially if it means that Daniel-San is going to get his fucking nards blasted. A revelation I hope to encounter this weekend, as Bags and I dive deeper into the first season of the show named after the dojo. Fuck, guys, it’s so good. For those of you who don’t want to pay for YouTube Red (understandable) or pirate this bitch (like we are doing), I can’t wait for you to check the series out on Netflix next week.

Anyways, fucking hell! Enough prattling about Cobra Kai. Even though it’s the berries. Berries which will taste so, so good on your tongue!

Keep Reading »

Behold! Bags playing like an absolute fucking donkey. Pulling ten dudes and then opening a cursed chest. ‘Cause nothing says “efficiency” like wiping a run because of a donkey-brained attempt like this. But! It’s not all lost. ‘Cause starting in the first video, and concluding in the second, you can see me laughing my ass off at his stupidity. While, I imagine, chat is doing the same thing.

Keep Reading »