Sexy, glistening space abs sell.  It’s science.  Marvel would do well to put Chris Pratt’s prison-hosedown scene on the cover of every comic from here to August 1st.  We here at Omega-Level are no dummies, and plan on flooding the page with all the Star-Lord gut muscle you can handle, and probably a few more than that.  To that end we’ll also provide some Guardians of the Galaxy related content, as this week in BTFC I’ll be showing you some comics to go check out now that you’ve been thoroughly wow-ed by the movie trailer.  Even though the GoG are generally considered comic-book third-stringers, come August they’ll be as big (or bigger) than the Avengers, and it’s our duty to provide you the research material to impress your friends and neighbors with GoG factoids.  So hit the jump and learn about some books that will get you on your way to being that Guardians fan you always claimed to be.

A full list of this week’s releases can be found HERE.

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Quick! Look out your window!

See it? It’s floating right there! Yeah, right above the guesthouse your neighbor uses for his weekend binges of cocaine and SNES. No, it ain’t a UFO, at least not of the little-green-men, flying-saucer variety. And yes, it does look a bit like a rocketship made of impounded station wagons and junkyarded computer components.

Because it is.

What’s that? Oh, the lights on the side? You’re goddamn right they’re Christmas lights. What’re they there for? C’mon, they spell something out. Look closer, it’s not hard to see a two-letter combination. Yeah, you’ve got it.

OL.

Spaceship OL is touching down in your neighborhood. Why’s that? Well, it’s `cause we’re bringing you the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE. Once you board the vessel, I’ll show you some of the strategies I’ll be using to spend the week celebrating existence. Then, you tell the crew and passengers what you’ll be doing to destroy boredom.

Let’s do this, before that nosy CPA across the street phones the neighborhood watch.

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It’s Dumpuary for the movies – ya kids know what that is?  Films that otherswise would not be successful get dumped into this month for release in order to ensure some sort of profit.  So, though there can be diamonds found in the rough, most flicks coming out are pure gaaaarbage.  And while I don’t consider this week’s comic book releases to be completely void of merit, some weeks are better than others, ya feel me?  Call it a Weakday, maybe?   So I’m going to do my best to plug some of the more entertaining releases, plus shine a light on some of the cooler trade paperbacks dropping this week.  Hit the jump for all the patronizing pseudo-intellectualism you’ve come to expect from me, plus comics!

A full list of this weeks’s releases can be found HERE but I’m serious this week is pretty stale.

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Servin’ a life-sentence on Spaceship Earth is a tedious, painful, agonizing wonder.

Why’s that? For one thing, there’s the fact that everyone you love will die. Your best friend. Your kid sister. Your longtime mistress. Your high school math teacher.

Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.

Along the way you’re guaranteed to deal with inevitable body-breakdown. Maybe you’ll abuse your body. Maybe somebody else will fuck it up. Even if you think you’re unscathed, the sands of time are wearing away at your flesh-vehicle’s gears. Every single day. Every single moment. Until when, you ask?

Until they’re so smooth that they don’t move shit.

But alas! There’s hope! Even those of us who’re agin’ more like vinegar than wine have a fightin’ chance at experiencin’ glory! Not only are we fortunate enough to have been imbued with consciousnesses, but we get to live in a hyperreal future! Are things royally fucked up? Sure! But we live in times in which anything is possible!

So if you start to feel a chill as an existential shadow lurks over your shoulder, spin around and blast that motherfucker with a science fiction repulsor ray!

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Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! I’m goin’ to show off this week’s strategies for keeping me pleased with existence. I suggest you liven up the party by entering the dance circle that is the comments section.

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You all remember your first, right?  The first time the “new kid in school” walked by you, and your jaw hit the floor.  How did you ever walk the earth without seeing beauty like this before?  How is your town suddenly and irrevocably reduced to a sea of troglodytes and inbred circus freaks with the new kid’s mere existence?  Today a comic drops in our laps that reminds me of that first time.  Every once in a while a comic comes along that changes the landscape – a book that forces not just comic fans, but the general public to take notice, to turn heads like the until-now-unimaginably attractive new kid.  Hit the jump and let’s discuss that head-turner – Marvel’s newest marvel, Ms. Marvel, plus a few other books that might deserve a spot on your pull list.

A full rundown of all this week’s releases can be found HERE.

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Apologies! Apologies for the tardiness! I didn’t know Rendar wasn’t able to do the column this week until he didn’t do it. I received a message by nightingale this morning. Told the bro to not go necking any beautiful androgynous bitties on the moons of Jupiter but goddamn if we don’t all have to learn from experience. Now the kid is in bed. Testicles the size of basketballs, scrotum the shade of an egg plant. Oh sure they’ll go down in time — it’s merely an intergalactic viral infection. But let’s not talk about the sores, the oozing, the buckets of indescribable white sludge that drain slowly down his bed within the Spaceship Omega. Those will be gone too, but at what psychic cost? For all of us?

Let’s instead quickly run down the various arts, farts, and shenanigans we’re enjoying this week. This is Monday Morning Commute.

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Wednesday has arrived, and you guys all know what that means, right?  Of course you do, or you wouldn’t be here.  It’s comic book day, and man are there a ton of titles dropping right on our faces this week!  And I’m here to tell you about ‘em.  Meanwhile, CaffPow says I gotta do some housecleaning and start answering all the mail I’ve got piled up in the OL offices.  To be honest I am more than worried that the mail might contain death threats, anthrax, or comped copies of Superior Spider-Man (you can’t make me read that shit! – I won’t!), but I’m going to suffer through it for you, my beloved fans.  All six of you (hi Grandma!).

So let’s get to the comics and the fanmail and the lying cats and the space cowboys, mmkay?

A full list of this weeks comics can be found HERE.

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Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! First, I’m goin’ to throw a bit of fiction your way — this week sees another entry in the ongoing adventures of Absalom Fabliaux. Then, I’ll guide you through some of the ways I’ll be entertaining myself through the workweek. Then, you pony up your own suggestions, making your presence known in the comments section.

Let’s do this!

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A hot new plate of podcast for you to engulf. Go ahead, throw it down that dirty gullet of yours. Oh, you want to know what that bubbling black ooze is? Or the gnarled tree branch looking things? Fine! Fine. If you must know what’s on this episode: more Star Wars talk (ugh, I know!), Caff complaining about a lot of things and articulating them poorly, Rendar’s lost son, the Ninja Turtles, the exhaustion of comic book culture, Riff’s first guitar solo played on whale bones, eating tortilla chips in the microphone, and more.

Hit the jump for the terror, or check us out on iTunes.

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Wednesday.  The weekly grind slogs on.  The guy one cubicle over won’t shut up about the goddamned weather.  Your neighbor’s dog continues to shit in your yard.  Frozen fishsticks for dinner.  Again.  There is, however, a brightness to be found in the murk.  I wish I could say it was this column, but nay, I am not that good.  No, it’s the subject of this column that is our beacon.  I’m here to round up the best and brightest funnybooks that drop in our laps (and comic shops/tablets/grocery store wire racks circa pre-1992) on this most miserable of days.  So walk towards this brightness with me – seek out the light.  Let’s talk some damned comics, shall we?

Lots of great titles this week, and a full list can be found HERE.

Join me as we discuss new Rick Remender, my favorite West Coast Avenger, and an Omnibus collecting my favorite series of ALL TIME.  Plus I get a little salty at Marvel.  Should be fun!

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