Oh Lords of Advil, don’t fail me now. It’s Monday — folks. That sucks. It’s also Caff-Pow here — folks. Doubly sucks. Tagging in for Rendar this week. Stow your tears, he’ll be back next week. So for now, I’m going to drop on you the various things I’m indulging on during this week. ‘Cause, you know, that’s the premise of this column. Monday Morning Commute.

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It’s been a hot minute since we’ve rocked a Weekend Open Bar, but fuck it! As the kids say (said! like two years ago!) #YOLO. It’s been quiet around here, so this is the perfect post to just shoot the breeze. Share your plans for the weekend! Post dumb gifs. Enumerate the various reasons that you’re turned on by the Kool-Aid Man. (Pretty much) anything goes!

Listen to the rogues that you come across.

These scoundrels are going to tell you things that make you uncomfortable. Hell, they might just tell you that your way of life is wrong, that it’s contributing to greater evils. When you give them an open ear, they’ll fill it with all sorts of detritus. Stuff that’s bound to upset your sensibilities. Ideas that make you want to vomit. Maybe they’ll ask you to chew on the notion that everything you believe is a lie. They’ll be vulgar and angry and a bit discomfiting.

And you need to listen to them.

`Cause right or wrong, if we don’t entertain roguish ideas then we have no right to accept the easy ones. Sure, some of the time the doomsayers and fringe-dwelling miscreants are wrong. But we can’t know that for sure unless we give `em a chance. And every now and then, when the blue moon turns blood red, the rogues are right. And when this is the case, they’re usually showing us that Daddy Society’s been belting the most hapless, defenseless of his children.

Listen to the rogues.

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Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! I’m going to highlight some of the pop-culture junk I’ll be snackin’ on over the course of the week. Then, you hit up the comments and share your own recipes for entertainment-treats. It’s show-and-tell amongst the crew and passengers of Spaceship OL.

LIFT OFF!

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I say goddamn, it’s been a busy week for me. But I’m back. How the fuck are you folks doing?

I recently rewatched one of my favorite movies.  Then I realized that this particular movie was so similar to another movie, that one could basically be a remake of the other.  Lets investigate shall we?  We have a group of five young people, all selected for a purpose, and guided by some authority or agency that they cannot fight against to participate in a ritual that, given a conscious choice, they would not take part in.  It is only through subtle manipulation of their every action that they inevitable cause the destruction of the world.  The movie I am describing is of course the classic 80’s hit, The Breakfast club.  The remake?  Cabin in the Woods.  Hit the jump and follow me down the rabbit hole.

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Come one, come all!

Step right up to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the carny freakshow extraordinaire, spectacular spectacle  for all of us disposable zeroes who’ve climbed aboard Spaceship OL. What’re we doin’ here? Well, we’re goin’ to show off the various ways we’ll entertain ourselves throughout the course of the workweek.

`Cause without music and movies and television and comics and action figures and greasy burgers, what’s the goddamn point?

Let’s do this!

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It’s once again that glorious time of year when every week brings a new tent-pole movie that can make a studio’s year as easily as it can break a fan’s heart, that special stretch when restless teenagers want to get out of the house and run-down adults want to get away from their boring lives, so they collectively, one and all, dash through the sun and heat into the dark and cool local cinema. That’s right, friends: It’s the summer blockbuster season (one that seems to start earlier each year, kicked off this time by the new Marvel installment, Captain America: The Winter Soldier). Like the rest of you, I will certainly be there, as I am looking forward to the big-budget entertainment the season typically offers in abundance. I plan to see most if not all of the most anticipated ones, so I can come back here to Omega-Level and discuss their merits and flaws with you fine folks. And I have no doubt that you will do the same too. We will all be there at the movies this summer, except for probably one small difference: I’ll be there when few others are with me at the matinee showings—and this option is something I’d like to trumpet in this week’s OV.

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As a kid, young Hotsauce loved him some #1 issues.  Even for books I knew I wasn’t going to keep up with, I’d grab the first chapter.  Was it a collector’s instinct?  A love of foil covers?  Maybe to both, though I’d like to think it’s mainly because I am a fan of beginnings.  The promise of the start of a journey is much more enjoyable than the realization of or expectations for its ending, to me.  I doubt this is an uncommon feeling, though, and certainly not among comic fans, who are often given new beginnings, and rarely the finales.  The trend continues today as your LCS/iGadget/Whatever is inundated with a slew of “firsties.”  So climb inside the escape pod, hit the jump, and let’s talk Miles Morales, Iron Fist, Doop, and whatever other comics are nuzzling your nethers this week!

A full list of comic releases this week can be found HERE.

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So it appears that Rendar didn’t do MMC this week! It’s okay. I love him. Bro-Love. Born out of a mutually shared origin story plucked from the depths of our Dad’s testicles. Grown deep in our Mom’s womb. Fostered by a shared diet of Soda, Video Games, Comic Books, and Rust In Peace listenings. This is a lightning warfare edition of MMC – typed (more) frantically (than usual) in-between duties on campus. ICYDK: This is the column where we share what we’re digging during a given week. Let’s dance.

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In case you’re a DUMB IDIOT who doesn’t like COOL THINGS, I’m going to let you know that Captain Canada: The Winter Steamboat comes out tomorrow. There’s a variety of reasons to see the movie. Like, it has special effects, and Natalie Portman. What more could you need? But if you’re a pig like me, you’re only in the movie theater for two reasons. To masturbate and eat popcorn. “So, Caff. What are you going to jerk it to?” That’s a great question, Dad. It’s a difficult choice. And I’ve spent some serious time thinking about it. I can’t jerk off to everything, this little pink nub gets tired. Two hours and twelve minutes? Good god. So I’ve decided to divide my heart into a series of segments. Isn’t that what society wants, anyways? Order imposed on emotion? Limits placed on speeds? Fucking bullshit coupons that can’t be stacked at SONIC for all my fucking hot dogs? Isn’t this what It is all about?

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