It’s summer, friends. That can only mean one thing. It’s time for people to shed their long-legged genital containers in lieu of something sexier. More airy. Let the wind-flow, to at least attempt to keep the uncomfortable grime from building up against their sex-parts. ‘Cause while you may have your fetish, I don’t like being tongue-deep in testiclelabial grime when I’m pleasin’ my mates across the Universes.

Some will wear skirts. Some will wear kilts. Some will wear shorts. All of those errant people are incorrect. There is only one path to true ultimate power. Only one path to true ultimate enlightenment. You see, wearing Jorts isn’t just about being comfortable. And sexy. Though it is about both. It’s about the very Fate of Our Universes.

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OKAY FOLKS. Listen up. Between the alimony hearings, the drug use, the fact that Feedly went down for two fucking days, and my favorite butt plug melting in my dishwasher (which required an immediate journey to the upper mountains of the Appalachians to replace), there’s some E3 STUFF I DIDN’T GET TO. However, I also posted a fucking fuckload. Here in one batch is everything I’ve caught from E3. Posted, and previously unposted. Sorted by console. Don’t see your fave announcement/game? Hit the comments. I’ll add it. I know I’m missing a lot. Also! Use this space just to shoot the E3 shit. Keep Reading »

Hola, compadres!  Welcome to another very fine installment of BTFC, the only place on the internet to find the best-of-the-best comic releases on a week-to-week basis.  Trust me, we’ve looked.  We’re also third in hyphenate usage.  So don’t be shy, step inside.  This week we’ve got poor, dead Uatu’s eyball, and a bunch of comics that celebrate our never-ending culture of violence.  Should be fun!

A full list of this week’s comics can be found HERE.

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Shazam! This is Monday Morning Commute. And I am Caffeine Powered, the faithful Steward of Space-Ship Omega. Much like I said almost verbatim last year at this time, I am a man under pop culture duress. With E3 popping off, I got my hands seriously full. So forgive me if I work my way through this column with stunning brevity this week. Oh shit! The point of this column? For you and me to share the various things we’re looking forward during the next seven days. Let’s fucking jam.

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This — my friends and enemies — is Open Bar. Its sole purpose is to serve as an electronic refuge, asylum, comic shop, table in your favorite pub, during the duration of the Weekend. Quite literally any and all non-malicious behavior is welcome.

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What’s up, good cretins? It’s Wednesday! The second best day of the week! Only being trumped by Thorsday, where myself and several other chaps dress up like The Odinson and have Thorgasms under the Slurpee machine at 7-Eleven. Mjölnir goes places, man! But what would Thorsday be, without Comic Book Day? Nothing! For I shant have such urges if it were not for the weekly arrival of the funny books. They’ve shaped me, my psyche, and the floor of convenience stores across the nation in ways we can only theorize about. This week in funny books sees People Totally Sinning, a Return to the Trees, Miles Morales’ posthumous idol, and more. Strap-in and check out the books I’m picking up, and then hit the comments selection with your own choice cuts.

A full list of this week’s comics can be found HERE.

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Welcome to Monday Morning Commute, fellow swine! Oh shit, you didn’t mean to stop here? Then carry on! You’re not swine. You’re just useless! Ha! Ingest my Hate-Gravy! Ah fuck, rambling again. Anyways – yeah – MMC. The column where we share the various things we’re looking forward to/enjoying/masturbating at/dreading/thinking about during a given week. Simple? Right? First you glance at my insipid list, then you share your own tasty morsels.

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It’s the Weekend, folks. Now this can mean many things! Maybe it means you work. Maybe it means you don’t. Maybe you’re getting drunk! Maybe you’re surfing the Omniverse in a home-built Slipstream Time-Space Shuttle. Who the fuck knows, it’s a wild world.

But whatever you’re doing, know one thing. This is Weekend Open Bar. Where we can all come together no matter what we’re doing to share in the madness of the weekend. Proclamations of Love, Condemnations of Marvel, Wild Animated Gifs of Chris Evans or Eva Green. It’s all welcome here.

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Comics, man.  Do you live and breathe them, like I do?  Is every Wednesday a sacrificial offering of time and monies to the 4-Color Gods?  If so, you’ve come to the right place – that fantastic little corner of Spaceship Omega where we discuss what we earn from our sacrifices: our weekly comic haul.  This week bring us comics with bad guys and bastards, mad titans and mad geniuses, and a healthy dose of mind fuckery.  Step in and check out our picks for the best of the best, and don’t forget to share you pull list in the comments section!

A full list of this week’s comics can be found HERE.

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Greetings, Earthlings! Martians! Transdimensional Omnigendered Omnisexual Multi-Dolphins! This is Monday Morning Commute. It’s currently Memorial Day here in the Empire, which means most of us are stuffed with hormone-soaked meats and oat sodas. But sadly the day shall pass, the long weekend shall end, and we will be (those of us fortunate enough to have the days off) staring into the Gaping Maw of the Work Week. This column is the various things I am looking forward to, to yank me through the shortened grind. Share your own dalliances, fools!

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