Welcome to the Outside-Inside look at my life, friends. The world viewed through my Particulars. This time of the year, this time of the semester, it’s mainly looking at books. Underlined sections of parchment parading around as anything other than what they really are — bullshit academic pandering by a bullshit academic (I don’t actually believe that, I’m just tired.) Anyways, check out my existence. My View From The Space-Ship. And share your own in the comments.

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Fuck, man. Don’t listen to the media. Don’t heed the Illumnati. Don’t accept the notion that you ain’t worth something. You’re wonderful. A delectable collection of atoms. Squeezed into new form by your equally wonderful mother and father’s Copulation Boom Boom. And while you’re here, and while you’re loving yourself, why not share what else you’re loving this week? That’s the point of Monday Morning Commute. New books, new movies, new favorite things to do with your boogers. Whatever got you smiling.

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Hello, friends. The heat is on, the sky is dark. My belly is full of queso and contentment. It’s the weekend. Let’s all gather here at theOpen Bar and shoot the shit for the next couple of days. ‘Cause if you can suck wind, suck down bandwidth, and take the time to join in this weekly commune…things could be worse. Maybe better? Sure. But maybe worse? Definitely.

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I am Caffeine-Powered-Guy. I’m a busy guy. A delirious guy. A guy with no underwear and too many smiles. Here’s a look at my world. You didn’t ask for it, and you shouldn’t accept my offer. But if you’re curious. Here it is. A direct camera feed from the porthole in my room on the Space-Ship into the outside realm. Feel free to share your own Existential Perspective in the comments.

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Here’s part two of the fucking insanity that was recorded over Columbus Day Weekend. This pig-fucking rot-fest is filled with pseudo-intellectualism, superhero talk, Bateman body slamming a pizza delivery guy while we’re recording, and thirteen undergrad communication majors feeding us Skittles for internship credits. It’s pretty mundane, per usual. We also discuss my (temporary) departure from Facebook, Avengers 2: Tony Boner Time, and more.

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It’s Monday! But fuck, who cares. You could grouse about that shit, or you can do what I did. Yeah, I did that. You know. Unleashed the soft-serve ice cream machine into the depths of my pants. Ran up to the first Authority Figure I could find on campus. Hugged him with a ferocity, velocity, and eagerness seldom seen. Embraced the cold, yet welcoming, explosion of soft serve ice cream that rocketed up out of my unbuttoned jean shorts. Hitting us both in the neck, face, tits, soul. Screamed “We just ice CREAMED all over each other. #YOLO #YOLO #BADPUNS”, not forgetting to say HASHTAG before all three.

You could do that.

Or. Or you could just come hang out in Monday Morning Commute. The collection of arts, farts, social engineering projects, cataclysmic poor decisions, and other things you’re looking forward to this week.

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The motherfuckin’ weekend! Raid the open bar! Stab a loved one and scream, “It’s just molecules! The Universe is pouring out of you, and it is lovely!” Or hug your Mom while cranking out a desperate, bowels-emptying fart. Murmuring into her ears, “You created this. Your egg is now this bowels-emptying pants-filling nightmare.” Or do something much more mundane!

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Don’t worry about it. Yeah you got that thing to do. But you’ll get to it tomorrow. Or maybe the day after that. Keep your nose down. Do your job. Talk about the weather. Feign interest in the Dead Democracy. Yeah you got that thing to do. But you’ll get to it next week. Or maybe the week after that. Make small talk about the local sports team. Notice your gray hairs. Lament the weight gain. Yeah you got that thing to do. But you’ll get to it next month. Or maybe the month after that.

Here’s the view from within My Cycle. Floating about the Space-Ship. Grinding it out. Grinding. It. Out. Share your own Grind-Cycle if you’re so inclined.

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OH DIP. It’s Monday Morning Commute. Rocketing out of my Mind-Anus at the speed of light, as I try to bang this out before teaching class. Which will lead into teaching class. Which will lead into teaching class. Which will lead into tutoring. Which will lead into an hour-and-a-half in traffic. Yeah, commuting. On a Monday. SO AS YOU MAY/MAY NOT know this is the watering hole that’s posted every Monday. Within its rotting, mucous-slicked walls we share what we’re up to on a given week. [Update: a student came by and now it’s 8:39. That’s life. That’s life.]

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Welcome to another edition of View From The Space-Ship. Your unfortunate opportunity to view the world through the eyes of an over-caffeinated, bi-polar subversive educator whose friends who are too talented, wife is too brilliant, and life is probably too good for him. Per usual I invite you to share your own views of the world.

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