#Featured Articles
Tuesday Afternoon Commute: You Will Know Her From The Trail Of Dead
Yeah, yeah, yeah. This ain’t Monday Morning Commute. It’s Tuesday Morning Commute, and I’m barely goddamn sorry! Nothing like hitting the workweek hard to remind you of your own entropic plummet towards oblivion. Days like yesterday remind me of one of my favorite passages from Palahniuk’s Survivor, “Time is running out. There isn’t the kind of energy you used to have. You start to slow down. You start to give in” (263). Maybe five years ago, I have a busy day of work, I come home. Churn out thirteen articles for the next two days, jack off three times, eat dinner, jack off three more times, and play seven hours of Mass Effect.
These days? I come home, kiss my wife on the head, throw my backpack to the ground, put on sweatpants, and watch Jeopardy.
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Weekend Open Bar: I’ve Seen Things You People Would Probably Believe
This is, as always, Weekend Open Bar. The objective is, as always, to create a holistic HorrorDump at the Internet where like-minded folk can gather. Once gathered we will, as always, shoot the shit about what we’re doing this weekend. You know, flap our flabby lips. Pointedly pontificate about nothing–something. Everything and anything goes, as always, so long as its in a positive spirit.
Monday Morning Commute: It’s Only For Forever!
Hello SlimeLords, you slithering salacious rot-souls. Clamber into my compartment aboard the Space-Ship Omega and lend me your ocular-meat. I’m going to describe to you the various things I’m looking forward to this week. What is on my mind. What is on your mind! I have telepathy! And caffeine! And telepathy! And a hearty desire to regal your loved ones with falsified tales from your unfortified mouths! Telepathy!
Weekend Open Bar: The New Scum’s Old Haunts
The Weekend Open Bar. The old haunt of the Omegaverse’s New Scum. Where every weekend we can pry off our masks, slip off our gloves, and commune for a couple of days. We gather, away from the back-breaking SpiceMines, the porcelain shit thrones that must be shined, from the glue factory and the Dagobah Diners. We gather here.
Monday Morning Commute: Trickle Down Cybernetics
How are you folks doing? Man — it’s been a minute since I sat down at my computer. Or, I suppose, sat my laptop down upon me. Spent the weekend hanging out with friends, slinging insane amounts of caffeine into my veins. Watching grown men throw balls into the air while I bark at them nonsensically. Imbuing the frivolities with so much importance, way too much importance, playing right into the distractionary hands of The Powers That Be.
But hey. It’s with friends. There are probably worse ways to spend the weekend than eating too much, farting too much, laughing too much, and the such, right? Even if the macguffin is SportEvent.
Anyways — now that I am at my computer, I shall compose this. Monday Morning Commute!
Weekend Open Bar: What Lies Beyond Doom? (Hope).
It’s the fucking weekend, baby. Kick open the doors to the Bar. Grab your favorite drink. Just reach behind the counter, and throw it down your esophagus-pipes. I won’t charge ya. Let the burn wash over you. And then saddle up next to me. This is Weekend Open Bar, the gathering at the InternetWateringHole where those willing join me in camaraderie.
Monday Morning Commute: Deus Ex Slopculture
It’s another edition of Monday Morning Commute, folks. Borne up out of the primordial sludge that are my synapses. Rotted neuro-wires shooting electricity aimlessly across the hollowed-dome of my brain-piece. My poor taste strained through the rotting diaper filled with the refuse of a consumed Elder One’s husk.
Weekend Open Bar: Thankfully, Your GlitchedSoul was CloudSaved
Ah yeah, you did it, buddy! You made it through the first week of the new year. All them holidays are over with, and so your laissez faire attitude can no longer be blamed on festivities. Instead you’re going to need to bury the truth deep down — you’re tired of your unrewarding job in the SpiceMines, and the nominal-at-best pay bumps and feigned annual recognition by the CzarLords that run your job from DigiSpace.
It’s depressing, but you’re not alone. For one, it’s the weekend. For two, this is Weekend Open Bar! A watering hole buried deep in the swollen cyst in the synapses of the CyberRot of the Universe’s Grey Matter. All of us are here! Waiting for you!
Monday Morning Commute: A CyberRot Celebration!
It’s 2016! And if I’m not mistaken, this is my first post of the NuYear. I’m just fucking lazy these days, man. Or perhaps I’m just more prone to spending whatever free time I can with my wife, friends, and family. So I took the weekend off! Sue me! But I’m here, now. In the NuYear, with the NuMe!
This is Monday Morning Commute. The weekly column where we all get together and share what we’re up to during a given week. The books we are reading, the movies we are watching, the food we are eating.
