Hello, friends! It’s The Weekend Open Bar! Come hang out!

I’m feeling good over here. The weather has finally turned here on the Eastern seaboard of the Empire. My semester has finally ended. And, I’ve gotten consecutive nights of good sleep. All of this is to say is that I’m actually sticking my head out of the Depressive Cocoon I build around myself ever so often, and smiling!

By god, smiling.

Keep Reading »

First off, fuck me, I don’t know why the quality of the video here is so low. But, you’re not here for video quality! You’re here for the shitty banter between Bateman and me! In fact, you’re probably not here at all!

Keep Reading »

Hell yes, it’s Weekend Open Bar.

What’s up, fellow denizens of the Space-Ship Omega? Me? This guy? I’m celebrating the cessation of the semester! Or, at least, the last full week. Not only that, but it’s the motherfucking weekend! With that in mind, I must cop to you that I’m about to eat too much, sleep too much, play too much, smoke too much, and smile too much.

And, I implore you fellow degenerates to join me in my revelry here in the Open Bar!

Keep Reading »

He’d been told that as long as he maintained his regimen, he’d be able to keep pressin’ them down.

The flashbacks, that is.

When he was faithful, really faithful, to the routine his doctor’d advised him to keep, they weren’t that bad. Just sort of bleaked-out, occasional billboard-spotted-through-fog-on-a-lonely-highway memories. They’d light up quick and fade away quicker, like the business end of a cigarette in a rainstorm.

A moment of unpleasantness, for sure, but a moment. Just a moment. Without doubt.

But when he strayed? When he’d decided to listen to everyone who’d told him that he’d be a fool to keep listenin’ to a doctor who’d had his license revoked? When he’d had a lapse in conviction, cavin’ into the temptation to follow the advice of the squares and mouthbreathers and so-called respectable folks who’d never condescend to put their feet in his shoes, much less walk in them?

What then?

Well, the unpleasant moments felt like minutes and hours and days. The rainstorm that’d snuff out a cigarette would become a monsoon of memory, a typhoon of nausea. The fog’d part on the highway to reveal splatter-remains, and he’d be astrally-projected back into his younger self to relive the horror over and over and over and over.

Worse than you can imagine.

So he’d taken kind to dutifully following the orders of a doctor who’d had to flee the country. Long, long walks in hot, hot heat. Lots of water. Micro-doses of LSD before viewing Mel Brooks movies. Beer — never lite — in the early afternoon. Avoid ice cream. Avoid pharmaceuticals. Weed at nite only. Daily yogurt. Weekly trips to the demolition derby.

And it’d all helped. It didn’t make him better. But it’d made him better.

Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE!

Now that you’ve endured a bit of my drivel-fiction, it’s time for us to discuss what we’ll all be up to this week. I’ll start, and then you hyperspace into the comments section and share what boredom-destroying, life-improving, depression-suppressing activities you’ll be rockin’!

Let’s go!

Keep Reading »

It’s Monday — which means that the INFINITY WAR has already been waged!

If you’re among the OL-faithful, chances’re that you’ve seen the film and want to discuss it. As such, we want to provide you with a space to do just that. What’d you think of the movie? Were expectations met, surpassed, or disregarded entirely? Do you have some guesses for what’s going to go down in the next installment of the franchise?

C’mon in — this is a SPOILER-FRIENDLY DISCUSSION!

Keep Reading »

It’s finally upon us! This time tomorrow, Avengers: Infinity War will finally be dropping into the brains of lifelong comics nerds and MCU fans and probably a few confused moviegoers who’ve never seen a Marvel movie before!

It’s time to celebrate!

And just like Christmas Eve or New Years Eve or Baal Bloodletting Eve, these next twenty-four hours will be spent wondering about how it’s all going to go down. Hoping that our favorites make it out okay. Imagining the unimaginable elements we’ve yet to see. Fearing what Thanos might be capable of.

As such, let’s make the most of this Weekend Open Bar special presentation: Wagering on Infinity War!

This is the the spot for a SPOILER-FREE DISCUSSION! Hit up the comments and share what you think will happen, what you hope will happen, or any other thoughts you have about the confrontation that we’ve been waiting for since that first tease back in 2012.

Keep Reading »

I’d never felt more torn in my life.

On the left, brandishing a butterknife still covered in sow’s blood and screaming the Lord’s Prayer in Spanish, was my clone. My genetic duplicate who’d been paid for with the sex-worker money I’d earned during my gap year in Amsterdam. He’d been a good friend, in spite of the the booze and pills and the gambling he’d foisted onto me.

I really didn’t want to see my clone die.

On the right, wearing a bullskin loincloth and spitting out kerosene he’d been swigging from an old tin can, was my tulpa. He’d been there for me when things got really tough with that woman in the Amazon. He’d been more than an ayahuasca fever-dream come to life, he’d been a confidant, even if he’d had a thing for midnight-slaughterings of local villagers’ livestock.

I really didn’t want to see my tulpa die.

But when you’re feelin’ like you’re watchin’ the best parts of yourself tear each other to shreds, I find that — even if it hurts — it’s best to just step aside. Watch out for the splatter. Crack a beer. Wait for it all to be over.

And take solace in the fact that no matter how it all goes down, you’ll get to walk away.

Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE!

We’ve got my drivel-fiction out of the way, so let’s move onto the real task at hand — sharing the stuff we’ll be checking out during the week! I’ll go first, then you hit up the comments section and tell everyone what movies, TV shows, podcasts, video games, bottles of booze, pinball tournaments, or other ephemera you’ll be using to curb the sting of the workweek!

Rock? Yes! Roll? Forever!

Keep Reading »

Let’s get weird, motherfuckers! ‘Cause it’s the weekend! Let’s get weird, motherfuckers! Cause it’s the weekend, and it’s the twentieth of April! You know! That day. That probably means nothing to you!

But that said, this week it’s the Weekend Open Dispensary! Ha, get it?

Keep Reading »

Welcome, to another installment in Monday Morning Commute. It’s a barely-fair-to-even-call-it-regular-let-alone-weekly column here on the Space-Ship Omega. Within it I, a purveyor of poor taste and poorer morals, share what I’m up to during a given week. You know, what I’m enjoying. What I’m looking forward to at the end of the week, utilizing said anticipation as a rip-cord to pull me through the doldrums of the M-F Grind.

I’m sorry I’ve been in absentia. I’ve just been fucking busy, man. However I’m here now! And this is what I’m fucking digging this week! And this is what I expect from you: to join me in the comments section.

Let’s go!

Keep Reading »

Keep Reading »