Kiss the tip of your favorite Elder God, it’s the fucking weekend! Nuzzle their nozzle, gnosh their gnash. It’s time to pay supplication to them! Or, support a local union. Whatever one you prefer. Whatever, whatever! All I fucking know is that it’s the start of the weekend for me. Not only a weekend though, friends. A long weekend.

A–l-o-n-g–w-e-e-k-e-n-d.

Not a moment too soon. Honestly, maybe a moment too late. But it’s here!

And per the rules of Weekend Open Bar, I hope you’ll spend some time around the hearth with me. Shooting the shit for the next couple of days. Delving into what you’re diving into this weekend. Are you going to catch a movie? Scream in blind rage at the TV as a fantasy football player of yours drops a touchdown? Mayhaps, you’re just sitting around in a diaper and pouring melted Laffy Taffy onto your sweat-slicked body.

I don’t know! But, I want to! Come hang out.

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Whelp. It’s Monday, folks. And that fucking sucks. Whelp. It’s dark out at 4:45 pm, folks. And that fucking sucks as well. But, here I am. Here you are, too! If you’re reading this. Mindlessly browsing this collection of letters and symbols while taking a crap, or standing on a bus, or reclining on a couch, or sitting at your computer desk. And really, what can we do about this current situation? Make the most of it, I suppose. Together!

Here in Monday Morning Commute!

You know the spiel. This here is the weekly wank-off where we share what we’re looking forward and enjoying across the latest Monday through Friday gauntlet. Nothing says “surviving life” like listing off a series of distractions. And, nothing says “community” like me screaming into the bleak, blank, black void of cyberspace.

I hope you’ll join me in the comments section!

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Goddamn, is the Fall ever a twinset of gloom and glory. There’s something sublime about watching the leaves turn, experiencing the air crispen, and observing the stars throb. But, at the same time? Man, does it make existing a struggle. Early evenings, dreary afternoons, and the promise of only more darkness for the foreseeable future.

Like I said, a twinset! For as much as I enjoyed Fall last week? Sunday was a soufflé of sadness and ennui.

And then!

The work week!

Fuck me!

Anyways, thankfully, I got my own series of supplements to get me through the work week. And, I don’t just mean the uncomfortably large number of actual supplements I take on a daily basis. I also mean the variety of shows, games, and other pop culture popcorn I’m gorging on, to fight back the darkness.

And since this is Monday Morning Commute, I’ll enumerate them for you! Then, I hope you’ll join me in the comments section.

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Oh yeah, motherfuckers! It’s time for high fiving, and high flying! At least for Bateman and me! Tomorrow night we’re going to a Halloween party, and with the lede in mind, you can guess who we are going as! And I’ll confess, I’ve never been closer to having a mustache. And I’ll confess, it terrifies me.

If you’re good, you’ll get pictures. Unless it terrifies you as well, in which you’ll get pictures if you sin.

Anyways! Anyways. This is Weekend Open Bar! It’s the hangout that hits every weekend, imploring you to spend some time with me aboard the Space-Ship Omega.

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You know how fucking long OL has been around? This ain’t the first time I’ve used “Please Stand By” as a MMC title. That said, it felt apropos as fuck, so I’m rolling with it. As well, I must confess, I didn’t realize I was reusing it until the url generator inserted a 2, but here we are.

Straight-up? I miss you fucks! The semester hit, and blammo! I fucking disappeared in a cloud of dust. I suppose it’s to be expected, but I suppose I don’t think it’s acceptable.

Oh sure, I share articles. And, like, one or two of you appear to comment. But, a good old-fashioned fucking Monday Morning Commute where we hang out? Shoot the shit about what we’ve been enjoying? Been too long. Far, far too fucking long.

So, I hope you meanderers, lurkers, and longtime friends come out in the comments section!

Here’s what I’ve been digging since the last installment.

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Hey friends! I’m kicking open the doors to the, uh, Open Bar right quick! Trying to light the lanterns, dust off the chairs, and throw some gasoline on the hearth before Mrs. Omega gets home! So, quickly! You probably know the conceit! The Universe is Dark and Full of Horrors. But, it can feel a little less dire through the power of Hanging The Fuck Out Together. And every weekend I invite each and every member of the Space-Ship Omega to spend time together!

Share what you’re up to! Lighting some fall candles? Share what you’re looking forward to! Seeing It? Share what’s on your mind! Be it a fanciful meme, or a provocative gif.

There is, as always, one golden rule: god dammit, you’ve got to be kind.

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I’m one of those generic-ass motherfuckers who really enjoys Spooky Season, friends. Though, I ain’t alone it seems. There seems to have been a real surge in the amount of people appreciating Autumn. Maybe it’s because we, as a culture, are embracing the end of all things. The North is melting. The forests are burning. Fascists run rampant in governments. What does that leave us to do?

Worship skulls. Stick dead leaves in our ass and scream at the infinite void. And, spend time with one another. A community of those if not eagerly, at least expectantly, awaiting the Eschaton.

Anyways! Welcome to these parts. Here? It’s Monday Morning Commute! The rundown of what we’re all looking forward in a given week. Aside from, of course, the End of All Things.

So come one! Come all! Let’s hang out.

I’ll go first.

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This weekend kicks Summer square in the dick, sending it off packing. At least, emotionally. I can’t speak for temperatures, or the literal end of the summer. But after this weekend, the Pop Culture Zeitgeist turns its eyes towards football, fall, and All-Pumpkin-Everything. How does that register across your greasy tits, friends? Me? I’m fucking ready. Ready to lean deeply into Spooky Season. Football season. Hoodie season. All them fucking seasons!

It ain’t over yet, though, until this weekend! A weekend packed with cookouts, crank-downs, and coolers of adult beverages. And so, I’m stoked to enjoy the sendoff, while tapping my feet at its passing.

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Man! I haven’t done a Desktop Thursdays since January? My bad, my bad. If I’m being honest? I missed it! I hope you missed it too! If you’re new to this (and let’s be honest, everyone here is old), this is the weekly invitation to share glimpses into your world! It can be your desktop! Your desk! Some bomb-ass photos of your house, or a local hangout. A community communing!

I’ll go first, per usual! Join me in the comments!

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I met Kevin Feige once.

It was at a Red Robin, y’know the restaurant with the greasy burgers and tight-lipped waitstaff who don’t care if y’bring a little bourbon to sneak into your milkshake as long as y’don’t tell the manager when y’catch `em bumpin’ lines in the bathroom?

Yeah, that’s right, my favorite restaurant.

Anyways, I was drooling onto my Cajun-fries and preparing to send my boyfriend a breakup text for the fifth time that month — yeah, we were havin’ some serious problems — when I looked up to see the baseball-hat-wearin’-Marvel-Man himself. He was in a booth, a big booth, y’know, with a woman too sexy to be his wife but too classy to be an escort.

I saw this as my chance, so I bolted from my booth, jus’ a little tiny one, y’know, and I practically hopped over the bottle-blonde and sat nearly on Kevin’s lap. I asked if he’d like to hear my pitch for an MCU movie and when he said “No,” well, I knew he was playin’ hard to get. So anyways I launched into my pitch which saw Ben Grimm and Reed Richards livin’ in a post-apocalyptic vision of the Future Foundation’s ruins and they just go about their day doin’ normal apocalypse stuff like foraging for canned goods and stayin’ out of the sun, but without doin’ any superheroic shit. Sue’s dead and Johnny’s dead and eventually we find out that Franklin’s hooked on smack, so some of the movie, maybe even a half-hour, is just Reed cradling his dopesick son while Ben weeps in the corner.

“Real art house shit! Cannes! Sundance! TIFF” I kept shoutin’!

Anyways, I got to meet Kevin Feige and I thought I heard him say that he’d visit me in jail but the officer dragging me away was real rude, y’know, and wouldn’t let me go back into the Red Robin to double-check.

So, I don’t know, maybe’s it’s gonna be launched with Phase 5, but I’m really excited for Doom’s Day. 

—-

I’d apologize for that, but something tells me you either aren’t offended by my nonsense or you never even check it out.

So what’re we doing now, you ask? Well, we’re diving into the Monday Morning Commute, even though it’s the afternoon!

I’ll show off some of the stuff I’m diggin’ into this week, and you hit up the comments section to do the same! It’s pop culture cross-pollination at its finest!

Huzzah!

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