#Comic Books
‘Batman: Year One’ Aritst: Don’t Buy The New DC Reprint. Douches
David Mazzucchelli is the artist behind the seminal Batman: Year One, and he has a message for you. Don’t fucking buy the latest DC reprint. He’s got his reasons, and I respect the dude. I mean, c’mon. He’s David fucking Mazzucchelli.
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Monday Morning Commute: Ms. Americana 1973
I’ll never forget the night I fucked Miss Americana 1973.
We’d met earlier in the evening for some casual drinks. Sitting in the Holo-Lounge, we ran a huge tab and sparred with one another. We both pulled punches, knowing that the other was far too vulnerable to be dealt a true blow. She was as defenseless against my clever quips as I was against her cheekbones and ass. Oh boy, was I defenseless when I was against her ass!
Anyways, banging a supermodel in a space station hotel suite is hardly an event worthy of a bedpost-notching. Hell, the name R. Frankenstein isn’t on three different brands of jetpack-vibrators because my stinky-little-peenie hasn’t gone off-planet. No, I’ll never forget my sexual encounter with Miss Americana 1973 because of what she gave me.
My first LSTD experience.
She had just climaxed, yanking out a clump of my hair and pouring a bottle of Pepsi on my belly (per my request) when I started to feel…off. At first I chalked up the tingling at the back of my head to either coital-bliss or an impending tumor. So I kept feebly thrusting. And the tingling persisted. So I kept feebly thrusting. And the tingling grew stronger. So I kept feebly thrusting. And the tingling turned into music.
And then the walls began melting and Roger Rabbit materialized so that he could tickle my ass and Miss Americana 1973 metamorphosed into a squid-creature that would’ve made even the likes of Lovecraft squirm and cry like a babby and then I began to cum but my dick shot out staples instead of ejaculate but I felt no pain only the wonder of producing steel from my sexual reproductive organ and I had to apologize to my squid-lover of the evening because I had shot staples all over his back but I made sure to clean them up with a rainbow.
When I awoke the next morning, Miss Americana 1973 was nowhere to be found. It seemed that I was completely alone in the suite. But then I closed my eyes and I saw that I had visitors – the spellbinding memories from the night before.
The remembrances of my first sexually-transmitted hallucinogenic experience.
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Hello to all of you – the heroes, bombshells, brats, nerds, Capitalist-hating-Commies, stuntmen, nurses, Commie-hating-Capitalists, post-modern Romantics – that visit Omega-Level? Thissere’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, your spot for sharing the various means by which you’ll survive the workweek. Hit up the comments section and share what you’ll be reading, watching, playing, eating, or listening to this week.
It’s internet show-and-tell at its most dastardly.
DC’s ‘Captain Marvel’ Now Officially Known As ‘Shazam!’, Looks Brooding As Hell
Captain Marvel is debuting in Justice League #7, and he’s going to finally be called what we’ve all mistakenly referred to him as for years: Shazam! Check out what Geoff Johns has to say about the character, and dig on his totally brooding first look.
Rafael Grampa Does Variant Cover For Brian Wood’s ‘The Massive’ TOO MUCH AWESOME
Brian Wood’s next magnum opus is The Massive. Rafael Grampa is a favorite artist of us here at OL. Combining the two of them together in a variant cover for the debut issue is almost too much.
Hit the jump to check it out.
Superman To Be All Sad And Deadly On “Earth 2′, Rock On Dude
I don’t really vibe with Grant Morrison’s relaunched Superman. I know, heresy. In fact, I’ve gone so far as to drop Action Comics. From what editor Pat McCallum and writer James Robinson are spittin’ though, I may be able to get into the Earth 2 version of Last Son.
Jonathan Hickman LEAVING ‘Fantastic Four’, S’all Good. Dude Dominated.
Johnny Hickman is leaving me. Straight-up leaving Ultimate Comics Ultimates Time soon (though giving way to Sam fucking Humphries) and now he’s also announced that he’s leaving Fantastic Four.
McFarlane Paying Gaiman $382,000 In ‘Spawn’ Settlement, Who Really Wins? Charity.
Remember when Toddy McFarlane said to Robert Kirkman, “they only sue when there’s money” and we all had a good laugh at his reductionist tendencies? Oh, good times. ‘Cause it really doesn’t mean there can’t be money and just cause or whatever. Such was the case in the Gaiman vs McFarlane court battle, where Gaiman ended up winning. A considerable amount of money, that he is going to donate to charity.
Hitch and Ross Market ‘America’s Got Powers’ As ‘Twice As Much As Marvel For $1 Less’
Bryan Hitch left Marvel after a solid decade, and now he’s taking swings at the old joint. Marketing up his new creator-owned with Jonathan Ross, the two of them are promising it’ll have way more wiz-bang for way less wiz-buck.
Help KICKSTART Documentary About Image Comics.
[Caff Note: Thanks to The Dude for pointing this out to me.]
The folks that brought to life the Grant Morrison documentary Talking With Gods and the upcoming Warren Ellis one, Captured Ghosts are turning to us netizens to help them fund their next flick. It’s none other than a documentary about the founding and evolution of Image comics. A pretty dope idea, considering its their 20th anniversary and they’ve recently revealed a torrent of talent sitting in their stable.
‘Nerdiest Meth King Ever’ Had Comics Collection Auctioned Off For $125K. Lotta Sudafed.
As far as I can tell, the bar for nerdiest drug lord ever has just been set. A Colorado kingpin has had his comic book collection auctioned off for a serious sum of money, and that ain’t all. He planned on laundering his money through his own funny book farm.
