Source: ~duster132 via Gamefreaks

We all know the print medium is dying. We all know that comic book sales have been sagging lately. Grandma titties sagging. What can the two brutes on the block do to attempt to stimulate the market? Well, they’ve wised the fuck up and rolled back prices on their comics from $3.99 to $2.99 on a lot of their shit.

Good.

With digital sales of Ultimate Thor #1 almost fucking matching the print copies, they need to do something to put more of us, the great unwashed, back into comic book stores. Slashing prices is a start, though I think ultimately it won’t be enough. The leaf is dying, the bits and bytes reigning supreme more and more. But hey, it makes me happy.

When it was reported that Darren Aronofsky was in talks to helm Superman, Natalie Portman was getting thrown around as a potential Lois Lane. Well, when Zack SLOW MOTION TITTY FUCK Snyder took the helm, I dismissed those reports. Well, apparently all is not lost as far as those rumors.

io9:

Although she’ll stay on as producer, both Natalie Portman and director David O. Russell have both left Pride Prejudice & Zombies due to scheduling conflicts. Thus escalating the rumors that Portman will be Lois Lane in Zack Snyder’s Superman.

Well then! Cool enough. I really like Portman, so much so that I forgive her for participating in the Holocaust of my Childhood. While I don’t exactly see Lois Lane when I look at her, I also consider two things. First, I have no idea what constitutes “looking like Lois Lane” anymore, but I know that Kate Bosworth wasn’t particularly it. And secondly, she’s a great actress, and whatever inexplicable visceral reaction I have can be dissuaded through her performance.

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

S.H.I.E.L.D. is the best comic book currently being published.

This isn’t a new revelation. I’ve held this opinion for awhile now. And I stand by it.

The newest issue simply reaffirms the beliefs I’ve held, further developing a story that delivers some heavy ideas through an original plot. What is the story at hand? Well, it’s pretty simple: Isaac Newton is in charge of the Shield, an organization that has protected the human race from extinction for thousands of years. Unfortunately, Newton is evil and has involved himself in a number of shady dealings like killing Galileo and enslaving Nostradamus so that he can uncover the secrets of the Five-Fold Understanding.

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Oh shit! Jim Lee is returning to Batman. Not to do something foolish like finishing off his run on All-Star Batman and Robin with Frank Miller, though its been rumored that he actually is going to complete that. Instead, the Dude Supreme of the 1990s is teaming up with Brian Azzarello for Batman: Europa.

The Source:

In the pages of BATMAN: EUROPA, the impossible has happened – the Batman is on the brink of defeat, at the hands of a virus with no cure. Surely there’s someone that can help him? Well, there is – the Joker. Who infected Batman with the virus? What does the Joker have to do to save him? And how can it all happen before the Dark Knight collapses? Together, the unlikely teammates and arch-foes travel through Europe cobbling together clues while the clock ticks down.

Well, alright then! I’m sold. I’m not a huge Jim Lee fan, but in a contradictory and ironic twist, his penciling something is enough to get me excited. Makes sense, right? Not at all? Oh, yeah, you’re probably correct. In a futile effort to defend my continual bipolarity, he’s such an icon that anything he drops is worth checking out. Especially considering that his work on Batman: Hush was friggin’ fantastic.

I know that I didn’t cover any of the casting for the new X-Men movie, and here I am jerking off over the Spider-Man sheez. Well, I’ll inform you as to why I am behaving in this manner! At the time, I didn’t give a fuck about First Class. Forgive me! I’m sort of coming around on it now, though.

However, given that Marc Webb made my weepy, pussy, emo child heart leap and sing with 500 Days of Summer, I’ve been invested in his whole Spider-man reboot enterprise. Well come today, we find out that Emma Stone is going to be playin’ Gwen Stacy in the next movie. Say word? Say word! Stone was pretty dope in Zombieland and Superbad, and though I haven’t seen it, I’ve been told that Easy A is pretty snazzy.

I’m sold on it, yo. When they had reported that she was going to be MJ (since she’s always rocking red hair), I was like, oh? But now that she’s Gwen Stacy, I’m all, oh!

Yeah, I’m just babbling. Here’s hoping that Stone’s neck breaks and we all are moved by it. [Confused and aghast? LEARN YOUR LORE KID.]

[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction.   Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]

Daryl got out of the car, took three steps, and then stopped dead in his tracks.

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The Brothers Omega are well documented in what could easily be described as their soul-crushing response to Zack Snyder’s Watchmen. To us (maybe not to you, and if not, we’re happy for you), it was the cinematic equivalent of watching our Mom getting butt-dinged by a large walrus tweaking out on viagra and cocaine. The therapy bills are enormous.

So now that the same Master of Non-Subtlety, Snyder, is taking over Superman, how the fuck do I feel?

I’m not really sure.

Actually, scratch that, I am sure. It’s my response that is confusing even me. I’m sort of optimistic. How the fuck did this happen? Not really sure. A few reasons. First off, prior to Watchmen, I dug on Snyder. Both Dawn of the Dead and 300 were favorites of mine. Undead, super homoerotic favorites, but enjoyable nonetheless. As well, the trailer for Sucker Punch had me in fanboy ecstasy. It isn’t that the dude doesn’t provide chops for me to wank on.

My problem with him is his mastery of the over-the-top insane-o bullshit. Which I love, provided the circumstances provide for it. His soft-touch is a spike-laden hammer. How will that fit into Superman? I’m not sure. I sure didn’t think it fit into Watchmen. So here I am, after the dude smashes into mush (again, in my eyes, if you liked it, I’m glad you’re happy) one of my favorite graphic novels of all time, and I’m actually cool with his annointment?

Weird. Life is weird.

If Christopher Nolan thinks he fits the script provided by Goyer, I’m going to float him my confidence. I’ve always been a dummy when it comes to giving people my heart. I’m am pretty much a retarded puppy, capable of getting kicked repeatedly by those I love (Looking at you, Lucas), and continually expecting the next extension of the hand to be a gentle testicle rub. So here you go Snyder, I’ll be optimistic about this. Don’t let me down.

I’m fucking loving this sketch that Jim Lee shared via Twitter. I used to love Hellblazer back in the day, during Ennis’ fucking glorious run. I haven’t picked it up in a while, asking my comic shop guy on occasion if its worth checking out. I haven’t heard an affirmative, so I haven’t picked it up. But fucking hell, imagine if Jim Lee and some powerhouse author took over the reins?