#Books
Monday Morning Commute: Breastfeed the Homeless
If you’re reading this, it means that you survived Monday, the most dastardly day of the week. For it is on this day that we are forced to return to our places of business, to do the bidding of others in the hopes that we may one day fulfill our own dreams. Unless you’re last name is Thoreau and you’ve got a friend who’ll loan you a nice bit of land, chances’re that you’re not taking yourself off the grid. Instead, you’re going to deal with a bullshit commute to get to job you don’t love so as to be able to pay the bills.
Yikes.
But since we’re all in this together, we might as well pool our minds together and come up with an antidote to workweek ennui. Thissere’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE – the weekly post in which I share with you the various ways I’ll be entertaining myself until the weekend. Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to hit up the comments section and show off the Fun-Weapons you’ll be using while we pillage Boringville.
Without further adieu, let’s fuggin’ ROCK!
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Co-Creator of ‘Berenstain Bears’ Dies. My Childhood Weeps.
Say what you will about my general insanity and permanently juvenile behavior. There’s a lot there to work with. Despite all of that though, I’ve always been a voracious reader. It started as a little Caff-Powered, when my parents read to me every evening. The books that stick out from my nascent years? Among other things, the Berenstain Bears.
R.L. Stine Publishes Entire Horror Story Line-By-Line On Twitter. My Childhood Glows.
The master scribe from my generation’s adolescence, R.L. Stine, has been up to awesomeness. Sound the awesome alarm! The good sir published an entire horror story line-by-line on Twitter.
OL Book Review: Blueprints of the Afterlife
How do you like your post-apocalypse? A wasteland pregnant with zombies? A nuclear winter starring roving bands of leather-clad bastards? I’m tired of all those tripes too. Thankfully, I happened to pick up Ryan Boudinot’s dystopian novel, Blueprints of the Afterlife (published last month), on a whim and was treated to a fresh, complex look at a post-apoc. America. Equal parts Philip K. Dick, Terry Pratchett, and Palahniuk, Blueprints is a time-slipping, anti-corporate tale of survivors just trying to figure shit out. No epic travels across blackened Earth or raids on supply depots. Just people trying to figure out how things got so fucked up.
Rumor: Amazon Is Planning Physical Store In Seattle. Wait, Why?
Amazon has been blessed by being Free of The Flesh, operating in the wondrous intangible market place in the sky-clouds-buzzword. There’s a rumor going around that they are going to shed the immortal coil and tether themselves in the cumbersome.
Monday Morning Commute: False Fire-Eaters
Come one, come all!
Step right up folks, no need to be shy! Thissere’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, Omega-Level’s weekly session of pop culture show-and-tell! I’m going to show off the various entertainment-runes I’ll be using to ward off the workweek-trolls, and then you can hit up the comments section and display your own wares.
It’s a goddamn breeding ground for all ideas nerdcore.
This week it looks like I’m finally paying tribute to those wonders to which I’ve been negligent. Enough is enough, I owe it to myself to experience the rockin’ tunes and fantastic episodes and whimsical passages that’ve eluded me. Time to map out this week’s mind-commutes!
Let’s do this!
Monday Morning Commute: Rodrigo’s Wonder.
Rodrigo’s eyes went skyward, following the rocket as it pushed against unseen forces. Gravity. Defeatism. Self-appointed moral barometers. The seven-year-old was watching magic incarnate, and although he knew this to be the case, he couldn’t find the words to express it.
“It’s…it’s…it’s…” was all that Rodrigo exhaled when his opinion was polled.
Once the rocket had disappeared, Reggie tried to pull his kid brother towards the car. Unsuccessfully, of course. Rodrigo kept his neck craned, concentrating on the fading wisps of purple exhaust. Imagining the strange world the crew was going to explore. Contemplating how wonderful it’d be if the planet’s inhabitants actually accepted the offer.
From what the scientists said, they could be quite stubborn.
“D’ya think the aliens are going to come back with `em?” Rodrigo inquired through a gap-toothed grin.
“Well,” Reggie began, pausing to take his brother’s hand while crossing the street, “for their sake, I certainly hope so.”
“Why’s dat?”
“`Cause they’ll never get here on their own. And they’re hurtin’ for certain – more people than resources, more hatred than love. Sometimes even the brightest of rainbows can’t shine through the storm clouds. Doesn’t mean the rainbow ain’t there, jus’ needs a sweet breeze to clear out the air. Get what I’m sayin’?”
“Uh-huh,” Rodrigo mused, idly scratching his scalp. “The rocket-men are gonna go help the aliens `cause the aliens are in big-time trouble.”
“You got it, buddy.”
The seven-year-old pushed his legs into double-time to keep pace with his older brother. Other days, he’d dawdle behind. But at this moment, there was an electricity in the air and Rodrigo’s inquisitive mind was surging. So many details to consider and questions to answer.
“Hey Reggie, how long’ll it take the rocket-men to get to Earth?”
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Welcome to MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the spot where I rummage through the entertainment-debris that’ll be occupying my mind during the workweek. Your task is to hit up the comments section and share what you’ll be doing to survive the 9-5 life. It’s like a show-and-tell cocktail with a nerdcore garnish.
C’mon, let’s give each other some bad ideas.
Monday Morning Commute: Peepuhlz of Erph
Hey there!
How’s it going? If you’re a citizen of the Empire like I am, then chances’re that you might have the day off of work for the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. I’d like to think that I’m going to spend the day contemplating the racial disparity that’s marred the history of the United States. Perhaps I could even set aside some time to figure out a way to try to oppose the inequality that lingers to this day.
But the fact is that I’m more apt to sleep in late, eat pizza, and straight-chill.
Hey! Don’t judge me! I’m just bein’ honest! If you know something I can do to help the world, let me know and I’ll see what I can do. But if nothing else, I’ll probably figure out some nerdy way to empathize with racial tensions.
Okay, okay – thissere’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! I’m going to show you the different bits of entertainment I’ll be using to assemble my own anti-stress mech. After you check out the ways I’m going to entertain myself through the workweek, your task is to hit up the comments section and show off your own wares. Yes, this is essentially show-and-tell, minus the rules and kindergarten teacher who was probably hot back in the 1970s but is now a crabby old bitch.
Let’s rock.
New ‘Hunger Games’ Image Has Katniss and Peeta Training. Most Important: JENNIFER LAWRENCE.
Oh hai it’s just an inconsequential Hunger Games promo picture, but dammit it’s Jennifer Lawrence. This means everything!
New ‘Hunger Games’ Pics Sport MENACING BLUISH TINT.
The Hunger Games approach! March! Two months from now. Want to continue stoking your excitement loins burn?
Hit the jump for some new pictures.
