#Books
Neal Stephenson Plays ‘Halo’ On An Elliptical To Stay Thin. Dude Is Outstanding.
Someday, in a distant land, when the semester is over, I’ll get to finish Stephenson’s Reamde. Till then I’ll have to tide myself over with tales of his rockitude. Like this one.
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OCTOBERFEAST – R.L. Stine
[OCTOBERFEAST is the greatest celebration of the year, a revelry dedicated to pop-culture’s most nutritious Halloween detritus. Plastic screams and artificial sweeteners have never been more bountiful. In the old country, villagers refer to the extended party as Satan’s Snacktime]
Lo! Did you just see that? The Ceremonial Mongoose got hold of the farmer’s prize pig! The little golden bugger escaped its rusty-nail prison, ran past the hobo-guard who was too punchdrunk from his bout with the cauldron-keeper’s wife to remain conscious, and lunged right at the farmer’s best oinker! Babe didn’t even stand a chance, being coddled by the unsuspecting and inebriated farmer as he showed off his handiwork to the pack of admiring agriculturalists.
The Ceremonial Mongoose sank teeth into throat.
Life sprayed everywhere.
The farmer’s blue-ribbon became a carcass.
Oh, such is the wonder of OCTOBERFEAST – the one event offering free bacon-cologne via crowd-drenching blood-mists!
So, why is it that those in attendance didn’t flee? How could everyone revel in such a horrific spectacle of pork-creation? What type of human being attends the OCTOBERFEAST? Well, the fact of the matter is that the celebrants are a varied lot of orange-and-black clad maniacs and lunatics and rejects and psychotics who’ve spent a lifetime reveling in popular culture’s horror. We didn’t wake up this way, but had to learn to love the dark visions, the glimpses into humanity’s unspoken fears.
As such, it is with the utmost reverence that we celebrate the career of R.L. Stine, a man whose lifework introduced many of us to the horror genre.
Boba Fett x Game of Thrones = Game of Clones. Word.
Artist Dave Styer brings one of the few things involving a Clone Trooper that does not ramapantly suck. Hit the jump to check out his mash-up, and buy the print here.
Video: ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 2 Teaser Is Insignificant, Exciting.
There’s an official teaser for the second season of Game of Thrones. It’s almost nothing. It also has me fucking pumped anyways.
Neal Stephenson’s New Novel ‘Reamde’ Features Gold Farming, Glorious Wit.
Neal Stephenson wrote one of my favorite books ever, Snow Crash. So even while I’ve never been taken with him like I have Ellis, or Gibson, or Vonnegut or the rest of my pantheon, he’s still a hero of mine. I heard about his new book Reamde and how it has to do with some sort of cyber thriller predicated on gold farming. Yes. Gold farming. I started it tonight and I’m already in love.
Actress Quits ‘Game of Thrones’ Over Nudity Dispute.Uh, It’s Thrones.
Lisa Nolan was cast to play a King’s mistress in the next season of Game of Thrones. She has thrown up the deuces and left the series after she got into a dispute over having to bare some flesh. She clearly didn’t watch the first season.
Monday Morning Commute: Bears, Wolves, and Ghosts
It’s Labor Day, so hopefully none of you are reading this after having put in a full day’s work. Today is the last HURRAH!, the final chance to high-five Summer before he starts putting his suitcases into the trunk of his car. Don’t worry, he’ll be back next year to regale us with hot-dogs and sunburns and countless hours of molasses-paced baseball. Everything’s going to be all right.
Besides, I can already see Autumn’s car down the road. He’s cruising towards us in a pickup truck full of pumpkins and foliage and warm apple pies. So as long as we stay strong during Summer’s departure, we’ll be fine.
Okay, let’s cut to the chase – this is the Monday Morning Commute, the spot where I show you all of the goodies that’re going to get me through the workweek in one piece. After you check out my wares, hit up the comments and show off your own ennui-destroyers.
Time to dance, beetle-breath.
Monday Morning Commute: By Rinaldi’s Hand!
Hey-oh! Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE — OL’s attempt to curb the blow that is the workweek! I’m going to give you the rundown on what I’ll be doing in the upcoming days to protect my soul from drudgery and malarkey. Your mission is to hit up the comments section and show off your own entertainment survival kit.
What’s in it? Movies? Music? Candy bars and porno? Let us know!
So c’mon kiddies, gather `round!
Vonnegut Library To Give Away Free Copies Of Banned Book To Missouri Students. Awesome.
Remember a couple of days ago when I posted that a douche professor in Missouri managed to get Slaughterhouse-Five banned? Well the Kurt Vonnegut memorial library is willing to give away copies of the books. This is awesome.
Missouri State Professor Gets Slaughterhouse-Five Banned In Local Schools.
Ah. There’d been a good amount of time since I heard the tale of some uppity dickbag or dickbagette who went and got a perfectly outstanding book banned from a school district. Perhaps it’s my liberal Northeastern upbringing, but I’m surprised this book was the latest casualty.
Slaughterhouse-Five? So it goes.
