The day after Walter, Jesse, and Mike watched the life bleed out of Victor finds them trying to get their shit together. Walter, who is 100 percent certain Gus is going to kill him, tries to be proactive and buys a gun. Mike goes to a bar and blurs the memory with booze. Jesse moves back into his old place with the gaudiest stereo on earth. Gus decides it’s best to not hang around the lab anymore. He was checkmated by Walter and Jesse shot his hopeful chemist, Gale. Probably a good idea to let those boys cool off and get back to work.

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One of the best things about the short-lived BSG spinoff Caprica was Alessandra Torresani. Not that she’ll be nominated for an Emmy anytime soon, but she is really hot. And don’t worry guys, I checked. She only looks 16. She’s actually 24! *looks round for the high five*

Since the fall of Caprica (ha-yuck) Torresani has been canoodling around half-naked in various shoots with photographer Tyler Shields. Their latest collaboration is a video in which Torresani recalls her doomed relationship with Darth Vader. It’s not really funny, but she does lick Vader’s helmet at one point. I’d watch Torresani do anything. If someone filmed her doing her taxes I’d watch it. Check out the video after the jump. I’ve included a bonus video of Torresani licking a giant lollipop coming out of a man’s crotch. I love this chick.

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After a hiatus that felt like forever, Breaking Bad is back to kick our ass. Last season’s finale, “Full Measure,” left us pulling our hair out over whether a weepy Jesse shot Gale – or of that last second camera shift had Jesse firing over Gale’s shoulder in hesitation. More happened in the season four premiere, the gruesomely titled “Box Cutter,” than just the reveal of Gale’s execution. In true Breaking Bad fashion, creator Vince Gilligan and his crew delivered a suspenseful and darkly hilarious episode that began with a shocker of a flashback. We also got see Walter resort to his sniveling, bombastic Mr. White persona as Skyler continues to “break bad” even further. And poor Jesse’s now lost any shred of innocence he may have had left. It’s been a long time coming for this episode and they knocked it out the park, into the parking lot, and right through the windshield of your Pontiac Aztec.

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Just over the past two months or so, I caught up with all the Harry Potter films. They’re pretty fun, the mythology is interesting, and I can see how it has a deep cult following. Plus, the Hogwart’s ride at Universal Studios is the most insane attraction I’ve ever experienced. The whole shebang came to an end last night with the eighth and final film in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt.2. It’s a solid and touching end to a series that started a decade ago with the innocence of The Sorcerer’s Stone. Judging by the amount of sniffling coming from cosplay attendees in my theater last night, I’d say it satisfied the diehards as well as the laymen.

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That’s all she wrote, ladies and gentlemen.The curtain closed on America’s greatest achievement yesterday with the final shuttle launch in U.S. history. I was about 11-10 miles away and it was hard not to get emotional as the Atlantis disappeared behind the cloud line; leaving behind an enormous trail of exhaust and history in its wake. And my god, the sound wave. It took about one minute for the sound wave to hit and once it did, it shook me something fierce. But what I wish I was hearing at the time of launch was Bear McCreary’s “Fanfare for STS-135.”

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From visionary Spanish director Álex de la Iglesia (Day of the Beast, The Perfect Crime) comes one of the most beautifully batshit insane movies you will see in 2011. Easily one of the most unforgettable films I’ve seen in the past five years, The Last Circus is an epic, operatic orgy of hyper-violence that gives a new meaning to the phrase “love triangle.” It’s also an incredibly confident and well-crafted film that’s destined for cult status.

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The setting of a “post-apocalyptic” world is a great tool for movie mayhem. The problem is it’s been done to death. Classics of the genre like the Mad Max series and (one of my personal favorites) A Boy and His Dog exploit the theory that following the total breakdown of society, man will devolve into hyper-violent, insatiable savages. And hey, I agree. Add vampires to the mix and you’ve got Jim Mickle’s Stake Land. Initially the premise sounds like Zombieland meets The Road, but Stake Land is entirely its own monster: a convincing and fiercely human take on survival horror.

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Terrence Malick’s long-awaited wank-a-thon Tree of Life has been in select theaters for a few weeks now and will be getting a nationwide boost on July 8. As I’m writing this it’s 86% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. I saw it last Sunday and while I thought it was a stunning visual orgy, it didn’t really do much else for me. Especially Sean Penn. He’s one of my favorite dudes ever but his bits in the movie were pointless and his whole beach scene near the end is by far the cheesiest scene of 2011.

I’m not here to knock the enigmatic Malick or his new movie though. You should go see it in the theater if you have the chance. You’ll never see another film like it, that’s a Malick guarantee! But the movie got me and my girl thinking about another film. A similar yet superior film from a decade ago: Frailty. Directed by Bill Goddamn Paxton and written by Brent Hanley (who wrote the “Family” episode of Masters of Horror), Frailty is a southern-fried gothic thriller in which a fanatic father (Paxton) has visions that drive him to seek and kill “demons,” bringing his two young sons along for the ride. I admit, comparing these two films is like trying to draw concrete comparisons between The Wire and Everybody Loves Raymond, but Malick and Paxton’s tales of the south have more in common than you think. I might even smell some plagiarism…

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If the final minutes of “Fire and Blood” didn’t make your jaw hit the floor, best go have your pulse checked. The dragon(s) have awoken and season 1 of Thrones ended on such a homerun for HBO, the audience, and that fat guy with two middle initials: George R.R.Martin. Producers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss did a great job of adapting this immensely rich novel and streamlining it into a coherent show. Like the first book in the “Song of Ice and Fire” series, season 1 is essentially a prologue for the war to come and an even more grand season 2.

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Super 8, the latest effort from J.J. Abrams’ mystery box, is a blend of alien invasion, coming of age, and learning to let go films wrapped up in a glossy, nostalgic shell. The problem is, it never comes close to pulling off any of these narrative instruments completely. It never settles on what it wants to be and muddles through a lot of the narrative to shift to the next set piece. The alien invasion aspect is never given any high stakes that feel real. The coming of age bits are ham fisted. And the letting go element comes up empty with no real emotional depth to it. But, just like Star Trek, Super 8 looks damn good.

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