#Caffeine Powered
‘Metal Gear Solid V’ finally achieves nuclear disarmament after five-years. At least it’s happening fucking somewhere!
I say, goddamn. Talk about the long game. After five-years, Metal Gear Solid V has achieved nuclear disarmament which triggered a secret cutscene. Shit was done on the PS3, whose player base has dwindled to the point of making it possible. However, still fucking impressive.
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AMC and Universal have announced 17-Day theatrical window agreement. 17-Days! Holy shit.
Perhaps expectedly, AMC and Universal have squashed their beef. But, man! The, uh, squashing is wild. The two companies have agreed to a mere 17-Day theatrical window for Universal flicks before they can go VOD.
Now you can play ‘Doom’ inside ‘Minecraft’ on a bootable Windows 95 computer. Jesus Fuck, you brilliant bastards
The quest to play Doom on everything continues, motherfuckers. As well, the quest to create everything in Minecraft also sallies forth. At the same time! You see, now you can play Doom on a Windows 95 computer in Minecraft. Like, what.
‘The Witcher’ is getting a live-action prequel series and maybe I should just watch the original already
The Witcher is a bona fide fucking hit, friends. And what do corporations do with hits? Milk them tits! To death! Netflix knows the deal, and they’ve announced a prequel series based on The Witcher. The son of a bitch is called The Witcher: Blood Origin, and it’ll crack open the origins of the first Witcher. You know, I’ve been hankering for a TV show to watch, and maybe this news has made it clear. Should I watch The fucking Witcher? Perhaps!
Run The Jewels announce their own strain of cannabis called ‘Ooh La La’ and I’ll never be sober again!
Run The Jewels is dropping their own strain of cannabis named “Ooh La La”, a reference to a recent track of theirs. My oh my! If they ain’t ever daring me to stay high 24/7, as opposed to my usual habits. You know, 12/7.
Massive Nintendo “gigaleak” reveals all sorts of dope shit from Luigi in ‘Super Mario 64’ to never-released titles
I know on some level that the Nintendo “gigaleak” is fucked up. But, on a filthy, greedy fan level? This sort of cache of unreleased titles and prototypes leaking into the world fucking rules, dudes.
‘Tenet’ opening internationally on August 26, and in “select” U.S cities on September 3rd because we are so fucking dumb
Tenet is officially no longer waiting for our stupid fucking asses to figure things out. Indeed, the movie is opening internationally on August 26, and in select U.S. cities on September 3rd. But, man. Given that the country is currently a COVID dumpster fire who knows what those cities will actually be.
Monday Morning Commute: The Practicing of Pragmatic Hope
Hello, good friends! How is it going? Hope you’re staying healthy, hope you’re staying cool. There’s an absolute fucking monstrosity of a heat wave plastering the Northeast, and I’m realizing taking my daily two-mile walk was not the best idea. Said realization stemming from what can only be described as a scorched-ass feel from my unadorned cheeks. But, fuck! You know how it goes, dudes. I need my steps on the regular! Without a campus to canvas, it’s way too easily to let my pallid ass (a lot of me is tanned — my ass, and accompanying asshole? pale) fall into a sedentary lifestyle.
However, I’m paying the tab for it right now. A cruel mistress, nature happens to be. A beautiful one as well, though. What must be understood, what must be accepted, though — is she bargains with no one.
Anyways! Outside of a sun-raked skull-piece, I’m doing well. Today marks the true beginning of my pseudo-vacation. And dammit, I’m feeling better already. I’m sleeping, I’m more relaxed, Reality and All Its Horrors seem a bit more endurable. However, I don’t know if it’s disappointing to know that this isn’t how I always feel, you know? Like, this certainly isn’t my typical disposition. Or rather, my disposition during the middle of the semester. That said, at the same time? Perhaps I wouldn’t appreciate these moments of placidity if they were the norm. That said, at the same-same-same time? That’s probably the perspective the Endless Behemoth of Industry and Cultural Commands To Hustle To Death want me to fall for!
Eh, what the fuck can you do? Enjoy the moment, motherfuckers. It’s really all that’s promised our asses, anyways.
This is Monday Morning Commute!
Best Of OL Plays: Can You Imagine Saying “I Love You” During Sex?
…I’d rather die during sex.
Fungus growing at Chernobyl could protect astronauts from Cosmic Rays. Like, what the fuck?
Friends! It appears the fucking flat-out disaster at Chernobyl might have some sort positive outcome. You see, motherfucking fungus growing there could protect astronauts! From goddamn cosmic rays! Which, you know, is cool and all. If you don’t want to gain Fantastic Four-like powers.
