Rocksteady is going to let us hunt god! Or, at least hunt Superman and maybe the Justice League! The developer has officially revealed their Suicide Squad game and promised more details on August 22!

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Antebellum is skipping theaters, folks! Yup, the horror movie is hitting VOD on September 18. I’ll level wit ya. I can’t help but feel bad for those involved with movies seeing their theater releases getting nixed for VOD. At the same time? I’m fucking stoked I get to see a movie like Antebellum, which I’ve been sweating.

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Hey-o, bitches! John Wick 5 is confirmed, and it’s shooting back-to-back with John Wick 4! This is tremendously awesome news for me, as someone who hopes for a Wick movie every couple of years.

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FUCK your curse and FUCK your elite, Dead Cells. The One Pixel Kid comin’ through. He’s giving no fucks and taking no hits.

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Mamma-fucking-mia, dudes. Nintendo’s profits have increased over 400 percent the past three so or months. Absolutely everybody in the fucking world spending the pandemic in Animal Crossing or some shit.

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Man, the Candyman reboot/sequel looks fucking fly as well. Which is good news for Captain Marvel 2, cause it’s landed its director Nia DaCosta.

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Okay friends, fuck me sideways. You know what the hardest part about getting back into comic books is? Fucking catching-up! Like, the land has begun to reveal itself to me at this point. The swollen tempests of textual glory. The rolling hills of narrative bliss. The throbbing membranes through which to pass, emerging into a world of entertainment. But holy fucking moly, is this mixed-metaphor world of glory overwhelming. You know? It’s one thing to identify everything I should be reading. Surprisingly, that shit is proving rather easy. However, the real tug on the titty-clamp is purchasing and then consuming all of these worthwhile endeavors.

“This is supposed to be fun” I just bemoaned to my wife.

She looked me dead in the eyes and said “You know how many times I’ve wanted to say that to you?”

Okay, she didn’t say it. But, I don’t blame me if she’s thought it over the years. At my core I’m a pudgy dude with a slug for a pud.

So these are comic books! And they’re fucking rad. But Christ if I ain’t playing catch-up right now. Thankfully, I don’t have many on my plate for purchase this week. Which means after I finally, finally polish off The Stand, I’m just going to get cranking. Like, not cranking like you’d imagine me cranking. By the way, it’s odd that you’re picturing me cranking. Though, I’m sort of honored. I hope I’m shirtless in your mind. Wearing pink crocs. Fuck it, whatever. Picture me however you want.

What I mean by cranking, is cranking in the sense that I’m going to turn my ADD-powered non-focus on my currently compiling backlog.

In the meantime, here is what I’m snagging this week. It ain’t much, and lord knows I’m probably missing some dope shit. So hit me up in the comments with your own Snags of the Week. Or, if you’d prefer, how you picture me cranking. Ideally wearing pink crocs.

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Disney is finally throwing in the towel when it comes to Mulan dropping here in the states. Looking out at the flaming wreckage of our country amid COVID-19, the company has announced the movie will be dropping on Disney+ this September. It’ll run ya $30, which honestly ain’t that bad. I gotta wonder, if this shit works for them (and I imagine it will), will Black Widow follow suit in November?

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Apparently, Sony’s PlayStation 5 production is on track to launch this holiday! Which is dope and all, but can we have some fucking details? Please? A launch date? Month? A price? A rough guess?

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Folks, this is how we get Cthulhu or some shit. An Elder Ones uprising. I mean, reviving 100-million year-old microbes? From the sea? We just fucking daring existence these days.

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