#Caffeine Powered
So These Are Comic Books (8.19.2020) – Practicing Decorum On A Dead Earth
My balls just fucking stank this summer, man. Granted, it’s warm out! And granted, they usually stank after I’ve spent an hour or so working out. But, man! They’re not a good scene. Not a good scene, at all. And it was with those stank-ass balls that I hit up the comic book store today. That’s how committed I am to the cause, my dudes. Oh, I’m two-days late to the cause? The cause of writing a weekly comic books column? Fair enough! However, I’d be even more late if I didn’t pack my perpetually lower dangling testicles into my swampy Honda Civic, and drive my ass to the shop today. So be fucking grateful! Or institute some sort of crystal-powered Smell-O-Vision in this column!
Then you’ll run to the fucking hills! Run for your fucking lives!
Anyways! It’s a bit of a quiet week on the comic book front. Admittedly, there’s only one new comic book I snagged. The second recommendation is a title I picked-up last week and dug! And finally? The third recommendation is a title that dropped this week, but I absolutely cannot fucking find the first three issues.
With all of that in mind, let’s Dance the Dance! So These Are Comic Books! Hit me up in the comments section with everything I’m fucking missing this week. I know, I know I’m goofing up. Mind you, be kind! Cause I got a set of testicles with your upper-lip in mind, should you act the fucking fool!
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New PlayStation 5 patent suggests its using liquid metal cooling paste. Whatever the fuck it takes, dudes!
Apparently, according to a patent, the PlayStation 5 is using an “Eutectic Liquid Metal type paste, which should improve the heat transfer from the previously used thermal paste” (Fisher). Whatever the fuck that means! I genuinely don’t know. All I know? Is that when I’m playing Ghost of Tsushima, my PS5 sounds like an airplane and runs hotter than fucking balls. So, let’s hope this works!
MIT Scientists suggest that life could exist in the clouds of Venus. Okay, just microbes! But its still fucking life!
The clouds of Venus could harbor life? Well, well, well! Bet you didn’t guess this one, did you? You dorks! I’m just fucking around, I didn’t either. But, I suppose The Expanse should have prepared us.
‘Firewatch’ is getting a movie adaptation, and it’s a perfect choice for that sort of indie flick
Firewatch is a goddamn little treasure of a game. And, it’s definitely a perfect target for a movie adaptation. However, will it be good? Who the fuck knows. We may find out, though!
Monday Morning Commute: Summer breeze makes me feel fine
Summer breeze, makes me feel fine! A little Type O Negative across your tits to get this column started! Seriously though, we’re in the glorious days of the summer. The faint hint of upcoming death in the air. Deeper dusks. A cool summer breeze wafting in through the windows at night. Windows which we can finally open up, at least around here. It’s pleasant, pleasant as fuck. In fact, mid-August kicks off my favorite time of the year here in the Northeast portion of the Empire.
How are you folks doing, this August 18th? I hope you’re hanging in there. ‘Cause it ain’t easy right now, I imagine for any of us.
So, let’s huddle together, motherfuckers! Let’s share what indulgences we’re indulging in across this indolent portion of the year! What the fuck you reading? What the fuck you listening to? Playing anything dope? Watching anything excellent? Hit my ass up in the comments!
That is, after I first bombard your butt holes with my own bombastic choices!
Fastest star ever observed is moving so fast it is visibly warping spacetime. Holy Hell! Or rather, Holy Cosmos!
Mammia fucking mia! The fastest star ever observed is moving so fast that it’s fucking visibly warping spacetime. Like, let that rattle around in your fucking simian-ass brains. Almost incomprehensible.
Weekend Open Bar: Dusk, Of A Summer Evening
We’re getting deep into summer now, friends. With such a progression brings deeper, more rewarding dusk. However, it also brings with it shorter days, longer shadows, and hints at a Fall which promises to be seemingly chaotic at best. But as I said Monday, in the end we’re promised nothing. Nothing! Fucking nothing at all. Which means I might as well enjoy the beautiful dusks and the welcoming evenings while I can, no? Who knows what next week will bring for me. Really, for all of us. Why sweat it? And if we’re not sweating next week, let us definitely not begin to contemplate whatever the fuck is about to happen this winter.
Instead, let’s fucking hang out this weekend! Balls out in the air. Toes in the existential pool. Let’s fucking hang out, here at the Open Bar!
R.L Stine’s ‘Fear Street’ series getting Netflix trilogy next fall. My adolescence just popped a stiffy!
R.L. Stine’s known for Goosebumps. Understandably. But, dude also had his Fear Street series. It catered to a bit older crowd, and definitely was a bit more gory. I fucked with it, and now I’m going to get to enjoy a Netflix trilogy based off of it.
Jeff Lemire’s ‘Sweet Tooth’ is returning in November with a miniseries. Cryptid Hell Yes!
Man, Sweet Tooth! One of the few comics’ creative teams from days of yore I’m relying on to find my way back into comics. And, get this! It’s returning in November with a miniseries!
Xbox Series X could be dropping this November 6. Finally some leakage, some details, ffs!
Finally, we may have a release date for a next-gen console. Yesterday, Microsoft announced the console would be arriving this November. Now according to a leaker, the Xbox Series X is dropping this November 6. Fucking A! I’ll take this information.
