Salve, bitches! That’s Latin for “hello” and pretty much all I remember from four-years of taking that language. How is everyone these days? I hope you’re hanging in there, given, you know the circumstances. What circumstances? Throw a dart at a board of world topics. Whatever it lands on? That circumstance, among the others.

That said, ain’t doing too badly over here. Surfing these waning stages of summer both in terms of the weather, lifestyle, and vacation. As I’ve oft indicated, this is one of my favorite times of the year. However in many ways, it feels like a sort of holding pattern. I can sense that Fall and the semester are looming, which leads to a bit of anxiety. At the same time though, I got myself open evenings and late rises. It’s a liminal space, and it ain’t the worst place.

I know! Oh, god, do I know. Know what? That in about seven weeks I’m going to be looking back longingly on this specific moment in space-time. You know, as I’m buried under my first or second wave of papers to grade, with seasonal depression tag-teaming with my usual state of mental illness. Really just blasting my balls, the two of them taking turns. Occasionally teaming-up for an impressive tandem move.

Anyways, you all know the fucking rigmarole here. It’s Monday Morning Commute! What are you fuckers up to this week? What are you basking in, as the days grow shorter, the air grows colder, and Autumn begins to walk into the room?

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Rocksteady has finally dropped the trailer for their Suicide Squad game, and I’m pretty whatever. I just cannot get heavily horned-up for a co-op game. I know, I know. You’ll be able to play it solo. But let’s be fucking honest. That’s not how the studio is intending this to be played. You know, for the full experience and shit.

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The Wonder Woman 1984 trailer from DC FanDome is generic as fuck. Just a handful of generic action beats, with generic villain dialogue. However, it at least pops in one way. Admittedly, a bad way. Cheetah looks fucking horrible. That said, I’m looking forward to this movie. I dig the 80s, I enjoyed the original movie, and I’m horny for any sort of moviegoing experience right now.

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I’ve been on the Robert Battinson train for months, motherfuckers! Therefore, I’m pretty fucking smug after seeing this dope-ass trailer for The Batman. Faith rewarded! Could the movie suck? Of course. But, this is a promising first move. I say, goddamn!

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Yeah, I butchered the mantra of Cobra Kai to kick this shit off. However, it seems more apropos for a weekend column where I encourage everyone to fucking relax. I mean, no? That said, I’m deeply entrenched in Cobra Kai’s actual mantra, especially if it means that Daniel-San is going to get his fucking nards blasted. A revelation I hope to encounter this weekend, as Bags and I dive deeper into the first season of the show named after the dojo. Fuck, guys, it’s so good. For those of you who don’t want to pay for YouTube Red (understandable) or pirate this bitch (like we are doing), I can’t wait for you to check the series out on Netflix next week.

Anyways, fucking hell! Enough prattling about Cobra Kai. Even though it’s the berries. Berries which will taste so, so good on your tongue!

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Michael Keaton ain’t the only dude returning as Bruce Wayne in The Flash movie. Nope! Ben Affleck is returning as well! Fucking wild. I love it. I love it!

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Hey! Check this out, you Bat-pigs! Matt Reeves has dropped The Batman artwork by Jim Lee, and also ostensibly its logo. I’m digging both.

Hit the jump to check them out!

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Behold! Bags playing like an absolute fucking donkey. Pulling ten dudes and then opening a cursed chest. ‘Cause nothing says “efficiency” like wiping a run because of a donkey-brained attempt like this. But! It’s not all lost. ‘Cause starting in the first video, and concluding in the second, you can see me laughing my ass off at his stupidity. While, I imagine, chat is doing the same thing.

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A Sony Czar has confirmed, once again, that PS5 is launching this year. That’s all well and fucking good, but give us some fucking details. I beg you. This Microsoft and Sony stand-off is so fucking stale by now.

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Olivia Wilde brought it in her directorial debut, Booksmart. But, you probably don’t know that, cause no one fucking saw the enjoyable coming-of-age flick. Anyways, enough posturing. Fuck yeah! Give her the Spider-Woman movie, I’m all in.

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