#Caffeine Powered
Weekend Open Bar: we can do it if we try
Wowzers, it’s been a year. Wowzers, it’s been a week. I’m fucking drained, my dudes. Just straight-up, flat-out fucking fatigued. Thankfully, I got a couple days to convalesce before it’s right back to the Thresher. It’s autumn here, which means it’s dark early. It’s also climate change here, which means somehow it’s in the fucking 70s this weekend. Despite being deeply uncomfortable as to why it’s warm out, I’ll take the development.
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‘Tenet’ available to watch at home on December 15. About time! Get it?
We finally know when Christopher Nolan’s latest mindbending, self-masturbating opus Tenet is coming to homes. The motherfucker is going to be dropping December 15, and I’ll admit that I’m stoked. Like, even if the movie sucks, or is a mess, it’s still a Nolan jam. There will be enough to appreciate and pick at, you know?
Leslye Headland’s female-led ‘Star Wars’ series is a “martial arts thriller” and sign me the fuck up!
I say, fuck yes! We got Leslye Headland’s Star Wars series going martial arts thriller? After suffering under mediocre movies, it seems like the franchise is absolutely going to plump my balls on Disney Plus.
A stolen chunk of Earth’s Moon may be orbiting Mars! Give it back, Red Planet!
If the science-wizards are to be believed, a “stolen” chunk of Earth’s moon is orbiting Mars as an asteroid. What a fucking odd cosmos, man. But, I love it.
NASA contacts Voyager 2 probe for first time since March thanks to Deep Space Network Dish!
Voyager 2, baby! What the fuck is up? Great to hear from ya. Glad NASA could contact you for the first time since March using a Deep Space Network dish. Cause, fuck. You’ve missed some serious shit here on Earth.
‘Starfield’ will feature the biggest map of any Bethesda game. Ever. Give me this fucking game!
Man, Todd Howard out here talking about Starfield. Talking about how it’s going to feature the biggest map of any Bethesda game ever. Getting my tits hard. I almost wish dude wouldn’t talk about it, so I didn’t have to think about it longingly. Just come at us when you got a release date, Toddy. Stop tickling the tip.
Monday Morning Commute: Pleasant to Death
Welcome to Monday Morning Commute on Election Tuesday! I’ll tell you something, my friends. I had begun writing this column yesterday, and it was full of piss, vinegar, and a real fucking white-knuckled fist at the world. And, you know what? It was just exhausting, my dudes. I petered out after the first paragraph and called it quits. I just don’t have it in me to rage, rage, against the Dying Democracy. Instead, fuck it. I offer you this boon, this refuge from the insanity of the Outside Digiverse.
Now listen, I’m not saying to not care. Now listen, I’m not saying to not vote like your future queer daughter’s life depends on it. However, lost in 2020 is the need for self-care. For sure, i’s a privileged practiced. Everyone needs it, not everyone can attain it, and I care and have empathy for those less fortunate.
But, if you can spare a few minutes, hang out here at MMC with me. I can’t promise you anything other than my kindness, but I’m genuinely curious what you’re looking forward to in this Hellscape of a week. Okay, fuck, that was dark. Listen, I’m trying, but reality does penetrate me straight through the ass every once in a while.
I got my own collections of diversion, distractions, and diluting potions I’m imbibing this week. In fact, I’ll fucking tell you! Then follow-up in the comments with your own laundry list of pleasantries.
I love you all, this is Monday Morning Commute!
‘The Witcher’ Season 2 Teaser Footage: Meet the monsters Geralt’s gonna fuck up!
Here’s some teaser footage from The Witcher Season 2, and it looks fun as hell. You know, I really need to watch The Witcher. I got time until it drops, but fuck am I wasting it.
Unusual asteroid Psyche said to worth $10,000 quadrillion. Gimme a fucking bite!
Motherfucker, the asteroid Psyche is worth a pretty penny. Specifically? $10,000 quadrillion. Like, legitimately. Let me just bite into that pig, spit out whatever I get, and flip it for some cash. The PS5’s headset ain’t gonna pay for itself, and the asteroid can spare it.
