I just sort of assumed that Jordan Peele’s next movie was gonna be a fucking horror movie. But apparently that shit ain’t confirmed! However, you know what is confirmed? The movie’s goddamn star! Steven Yeun. Fuck yes.

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Somehow we’re doing this column three weeks in a fucking row, friends! Like, this has got to be a goddamn victory. At least in recent memory. That’s right, I’m here to blast your ass with the strong shaft of Views From The Space-Ship for a third week in a row! Don’t worry, don’t bray, don’t neigh, though. I’m a heat-seeking missile for your geek prostate, and all you’ll end up saying is “thank you” as you quiver on out of here.

Oh, where the fuck was I? What am I prattling on about? Madness! Ichor! Mad ichor, and estranged senses of sanity. Anyhoo, let’s get into this week’s edition of Views From The Space-Ship. Join me in the comments section, you fucking punks!

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Man, good on you, Rian Johnson. After getting absolutely pilloried for The Last Jedi, you returned with the fantastic Knives Out. Now, that movie’s success has been parlayed into a $450 million deal with Netflix for two sequels. Mamma fucking mia, that’s a lot of Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers!

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Could it be? Could we finally be getting Alan Wake 2? I had sort of written off the possibility, but then Remedy bought back the franchise rights from Microsoft. Since then, I’ve been waiting. Rubbing. Breathing heavily. Praying. Insane rituals, for an impractical hope. But it appears my incantations may have worked. Alan Wake 2 is apparently coming and Epic Games is publishing the title.

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Ikumi Nakamura is far, far more than a beloved presenter from E3 2019. She’s also contributed to fucking fantastic titles like The Evil Within, Bayonetta, and Okami. Now she’s bringing those talents to her own indie game studio, and I’m fucking pumped.

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South Korea ain’t gonna be left behind, folks. No way. No how! Not in the space race. The leader of them motherfuckers have vowed that the country will land on the Moon by 2030. Goddamn! That ain’t far away. Time’s ticking, broski. I hope you all pull it off.

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There’s a fucking jellyfish-shape objected in a distance galaxy cluster sending out strange radio waves. Now, I don’t know about you, but the source seems pretty obvious to me. Eldritch Horrors. I mean, obviously.

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Fuck me. You know, sometimes I honestly forget about Rick and Morty. This is despite really enjoying it! However, trailer for its fifth season has reminded me! As well, we know the season’s drop date. June 20!

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Listen, I can’t speak to the classic installments featuring both characters. I can’t! I simply can’t. However, I know that in the modern iterations, Godzilla ain’t got shit on Kong. Look at that gif! He don’t want that smoke. Guarantee dude runs away, like he spent the entirety of his last movie doing. And then? Dude will probably roll up, blast Kong with a cheap-ass nuclear reactor blast, and everyone will jizz. But pound for pound? Grit for grit? Kong’s a goddamn mauler and we must respect him as such. All of this is probably just an overly long way to introduce this column with the notion that, yes, I’m officially excited for this movie.

But that ain’t all, folks! Fucks! Nope. I’m stoked for a bunch of other shit this week, and I’ll let you know all about them below. That is, after all, the function of the weekly Monday Morning Commute. Then you’ll hit up the comments section with your own musing. It’s the tacit agreement we have, friends.

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Enter the Omega Arena, Fellow Gods of Slime and Disaster! It’s the Weekend! It’s the Open Bar! Which means it’s time to drink deep the Draughts of the Gods! Which means its time to smoke the Bone-Vapors of the Fallen Eldritch ones! Most importantly, which means it’s time to hang out for a couple of days together!

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