#Caffeine Powered
Scientists think it may have been *two* asteroids that killed the dinosaurs. The fucking one-two, baby
Scientists have found a large impact crater on the Atlantic seafloor, and they think it may be be from an asteroid impact! Which is pretty fucking rad, but it gets more rad. The motherfucker is around 66 million years-old, and they think it could have been a potential second extinction-level atomic leg drop onto the dinosaur’s asses way back in the day.
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‘Hellraiser’ Teaser Trailer: I Want To Believe In Rebooted Legendary Suffering
Here’s a trailer for the new Hellraiser! It’s almost nothing, content wise. So it does nothing either way to ease my skepticism about the new installment! That said, it’s Saturday, and the caffeine is ripping through me, so let’s be optimistic? The director behind the project is super solid, after all!
Astronomers have discovered “ocean planet” a mere 100 light-years from Earth. Webb, do your thing!
Astronomers found themselves an ocean planet and it’s damn fucking close. Listen, it’s all fucking relative. I know. But 100 light-years away is nothing in the grand scheme of the cosmos, and that’s where this newly discovered planet happens to be. The next step? Aim the James Webb telescope at that fucker!
Monday Morning Commute: A Trade Was Made
The Universe was owed a life, so I gave it the first twenty-five years of mine. It only seemed fair. When a daredevil defies the odds, a Furie is bested. It only seemed fair. When a beast recoils just before the trap snaps shut, the Odds are defied. It only seemed fair. Fourteen years ago I took a ride that should have claimed me, but the Universe wasn’t paying attention.
I don’t believe in Providence, or Destiny, but I do believe in Chance. The opportunity to do better, to improve, to make the most of it. Like a lot of chances, I hadn’t asked for it, nor did I expect it. But it was given to me all the same.
So when I climbed out of that car, climbed out of myself, and climbed out of whatever sort of husk had set slowly over me during my first quarter-century, I looked the Universe in its Third Eye. We spoke nothing, but exchanged something, and that was the first twenty-five years of my life.
It only seemed fair.
This summer though, I’ve gone looking. Around the corners. Down the halls. Behind the aisles. Looking for those first twenty-five years of my life.
They were there. Right there. Just waiting for me.
The lie I had told myself was that I had given the Universe the first twenty-five years of my life, but the truth really was that I didn’t want them anymore. Maybe it’s necessary to lie to yourself every once in a while. When you’re climbing out of cars, when you’re climbing out of yourselves, when you’re climbing out of husks. Clean starts don’t exist, but maybe sometimes you need to believe in them just to put your first foot forward. But that doesn’t amputate the angst, it just punts it. My first twenty-five years weren’t sacrificed, they were stabled, tabled, hidden for a while.
This summer though, I’ve gone looking. Rummaging. Pulling out and examining those first twenty-five years.
They were there. Right there. Just waiting for me.
What’s nostalgia when it’s dread?
What’s nostalgia when you’re not looking back because it feels good, but because it hurts?
Sometimes maybe lies are necessary, and definitely sometimes maybe hurt is good for the soul. Not the sort of ruinous hurt that lays one down, but the sort of healing hurt that comes from acknowledging who you were and finding peace with it. It’s easy to say you Contain Multitudes when you’re just trying to pretend you’re complicated and unique. It’s difficult to say you Contain Multitudes when you’re ashamed of the first twenty-five years of your life. A burdensome, non-productive shame. Though, is shame ever really a productive emotion? Probably not.
This summer though, I’ve gone looking. I’ve found them. The first twenty-five years of my life.
They were there. Right there. Just waiting for me.
What does it mean to acknowledge? What does it mean to accept? What’s the difference between the two?
Not sure, unclear, and I have no idea.
But what I have found this summer is as I’ve sifted through the wreckage, the bartering with the Cosmos, the climbing, the cars, the husks, the shame, the liminal states, the regretful behavior, the endless car rides, the sleepless nights, the countless different medications, the unpredictability as a friend-boyfriend-brother-son-coworker, is that, as they say, the Way Out Is Through.
I thought the Universe was owed a life, so I thought I’d give it the first twenty-five years of mine. It declined. The rest has been up to me.
This is Monday Morning Commute.
‘Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power’ Final Trailer: Well fuck me I’m interested in this show!
Somehow I went from shitting hard, deep, and vigorously on both House of the Dragon and the new LOTR show to enjoying the former and being stoked for the latter. Life comes at ya fucking fast, eh? Whatever! I’d rather admit I’m stoked after watching this final trailer for Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power than deny myself a dope experience.
‘The Callisto Protocol’ Gameplay Trailer: Oh this fucker is raw, huh?
I am fucking all-in on this spiritual successor to Dead Space, baby! Give me all the fucking gruesome environmental deaths and maiming. I fucking need thee, The Callisto Protocol.
Congress admits UFOS are not “man-made” and that the threats are increasing exponentially. ID4 shit, bro!
If the world wasn’t literally on fire while under the increasing boot of fascism, maybe more people would be paying attention to this. Just wild, wild shit. Congress has admitted that UFOs ain’t fucking man made, and also copped to the notion that the threats they pose are increasing exponentially. Whelp! We need to get The Fly and Billy Smith on this shit ASAP.
As an aside, I’m sorry I’m covering so much UFO shit lately! But it’s my blog, and I’m deeply interested in the fuckers. As well, my word, the news surrounding them in the mainstream press ain’t slowing down!
NASA has captured the sound of a black hole and its fucking haunting. I dig it.
Want to hear what a fucking black hole sounds like? NASA has got you covered for all your cosmic horror needs. Man, it’s, like, exactly what you’d expect shit Beyond Comprehension to sound like. I’m haunted, but also horny! The classic combo.
Fucking gorgeous images of Jupiter’s auroras captured by Webb Telescope
Fucking James Webb telescope, man. Just capturing outrageously dope images of space, both near and far from him. I mean, check out these two goddamn images of Jupiter’s auroras!
Nathan Fielder’s ‘The Rehearsal’ renewed for Season 2 by HBO. Summer of Nathan, baby!
I’ve been sweating Nathan Fielder’s juicy, awkward jock since his OG Nathan For You days, so this summer is glorious to me. You see, it’s the summer of Nathan! With The Rehearsal, dude is finally getting the love he deserves, and HBO is rewarding the love. The company has renewed the show for a second season.
