Weekend Open Bar: Cynthia Rothrock and Roll

Motherfuckers it’s the weekend, and that can only mean one thing. Fucking time to pop off our pants, turn off our motherfucking Ring Lights (if you’re a remote teacher like me), and get high as hell! You know, relax! Put on a good horror flick, stretch your gullet beyond reasonable measurement, and fucking gorge!

Pizza! Martial arts flicks! Dead Cells! Diarrhea!

Seriously though, you sublime bitches. Let’s gather! It’s time, my fellow Degenerates of the Round Table! The Bar is Open, my mood is good thanks to sunshine and a 48-siesta, and my heart throbs for you! Yes, for you!

Let’s hang out! Tell me, what are you up to this weekend? Are you playing some Valheim? Are you scouring Reddit for implausible but equally exciting WandaVision theories? You know the ones! The ones that nerds buy into for no good reason (don’t do it!), and then complain when they don’t come to pass! Or, maybe you’re just talking a glorious walk during this week’s Great Thaw!

Whatever the case, it’s time to be bros! You’re all bros! Gender neutral bros! He’s a bro! She’s a bro! Non-binary bro! It doesn’t matter.

All’s fair in love and brodom.

This is Weekend Open Bar!