Weekend Open Bar: Everyone In Greek Mythology Absolutely Fucks

It’s true, dudes. Everyone in Greek mythology is absolutely gorgeous and definitely fucks. Just, you know how it goes when you’re immortal and hot as shit. No holes barred. Pun intended, motherfucker! But, enough of my puerile pourings. Right? I mean, that ain’t the objective of this column. Is it? Maybe, maybe it actually happens to be. You know, just a place to blather on and on with all you good folks, across a given weekend. After all, this shit is the Weekend Open Bar.

Your one-stop shop for reading my ruminations on Greek Gods fucking, conversing with other members of the Space-Ship Omega about what they’re up to this weekend, and other happy horseshit!

Enough blathering from me about how Dionysus’ thighs are a testament to the thicc boi club! Or, about how Artemis could hunt me for sport and I’d only smile. Tell me, what are you good folks up to this weekend? Tell me, what Greek God would you prefer drag you down to the Underworld! Tell me anything, tell me everything!

This is Weekend Open Bar!