Weekend Open Bar: That Boy Is Trouble

Great Delicious Fuck! It feels like I just completely shazam’d my ass through the work week! Somehow, I’ve come out the other side with stunning alacrity. And now it’s the freakin’ Weekend, baby! Feels good. Feels so damn good, if I’m being honest. Every week of the remaining semester is going to be a white-knuckle, gripping-the-edge-of-the-clip type ride right up until May 12. But, by god, I’m doing it. Step by step and all that happy horseshit.

Enough about me, though. How are you doing, fellow members of the Space-Ship Omega?

Surviving? These days, that’s enough.

Thriving? Look at you, you fucking overachiever. Fucking jerk. Fucking dunce-ass bitch.

Uh, anyways.

This being the Weekend can only mean one thing! That’s right! Junk food-powered diarrhea and video games! But, if it had to mean a second thing?

It would mean it’s time for the Open Bar! So pull up a comfy chair, doff your Power Helmets (I don’t konw), and spend the weekend with me! Tell, me what are you up to? Watching the NFL Draft? Playing some Warzone? Reading something from your backlog of funny books?

I want to spend some time! So let’s hang out.

This is Weekend Open Bar!