Weekend Open Bar: Paper Boi, Paper Boi, All About That Paper, Boy

It’s the Weekend! It’s the Weekend Open Bar!

Spend time with me this weekend!

I’m hammering out this opening salvo quickly, because, I must confess, I gotta scrub my ass. Birthday dinner is waiting! Stuff guts with Mexican food! Then, tonight, Wrestle Kingdom with Bateman is waiting! Stuff guts with pizza, with sugar, with glory, and with glee. But, friends. Don’t think I’m neglecting you! This very hammering out, this very textual blitzkrieg is evidence I care about you!

Let’s hang out. Chat. Shoot the shit, if you will. Tell me what you’re up to across the next forty-eight whatevers. Watching any playoff football? Gonna go catch Jumanji or some shit? Staying in, cause you live on the Eastern seaboard and it’s cold as fuck? Masturbating to cake decorating videos on YouTube (IDFK!)?

Spend time with me this weekend!

It’s the Weekend! It’s the Weekend Open Bar!