Monday Morning Commute: Slop Culture-Covered Popcorn For Your Brains

Apologies! Apologies for the tardiness! I didn’t know Rendar wasn’t able to do the column this week until he didn’t do it. I received a message by nightingale this morning. Told the bro to not go necking any beautiful androgynous bitties on the moons of Jupiter but goddamn if we don’t all have to learn from experience. Now the kid is in bed. Testicles the size of basketballs, scrotum the shade of an egg plant. Oh sure they’ll go down in time — it’s merely an intergalactic viral infection. But let’s not talk about the sores, the oozing, the buckets of indescribable white sludge that drain slowly down his bed within the Spaceship Omega. Those will be gone too, but at what psychic cost? For all of us?

Let’s instead quickly run down the various arts, farts, and shenanigans we’re enjoying this week. This is Monday Morning Commute.

(Re)watching with Bateman (who hasn’t seen it): Gurren Lagann

Listening to: Beacons by Cloudkicker

Really enjoying the fuck out of: Tomb Raider: Definitive Edition (PS4)

Missing: football already. The darkness. The darkness.

Jesus Christ is it April Yet? I really, really need: The Winter Soldier.

Finally, I’m really digging: Workaholics’ fourth season

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That’s a lightning round of the sheezy I’m enjoying. Light a candle for Rendar’s space dust-powered elephantiasis, and let me know what you’re digging this week.