‘EPISODE VII’ CASTING SHEET sort of suggests MAIN CHARACTERS AREN’T SKYWALKERS OR SOLOS.

HARRY FORD IS HAN SOLO.

You’re tired of my dry-humping Episode VII speculation until the skin leaves my testicles in hardened, red clumps? I don’t know what to tell you. I’m excited about this enterprise. Very excited. Latest batch of news surrounds a Disney casting sheet which suggests the main characters of the next trilogy ain’t Skywalkers or Solos.

An open Disney casting call is happening this month in the United Kingdom and multiple websites, including the BBC, are reporting it is 100% for Star Wars. The casting sheet lists two roles, one of which is an orphaned female and the other is fatherless male. If those are main characters, they are not likely related to the Skywalkers or Solos.

JediNews first reported on the casting sheet (found on Twitter here) and then Bleeding Cool confirmed the sheet was related to Star Wars. The BBC is also reporting it’s a Star Warscasting call and got an official no comment from Lucasfilm.

Disney.

Remember this sheet is purposefully vague so the names and references to “towns” and stuff could be anything.

Rachel is described as “quite young when she lost her parents. With no other family, she was forced to make her way in a tough, dangerous town. Now 17 she has become street smart and strong. She is able to take care of herself using humor and guts to get by. Always a survivor, never a victim, she remains hopeful that she can move away from this harsh existence to a better life. She is always thinking of what she can do to move ahead.”

Then there’s Thomas, described as having “grown up without a father’s influence. Without the model of being a man, he doesn’t have the strongest sense of himself. Despite this he smart, capable and shows courage when it is needed. He can appreciate the absurdities in life and understands you can’t take life too seriously.”

As you can see, the casting sheet says both roles are leads, so let’s break this down. If we are to believe both Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford are in this film, whether one or both of them have kids, neither Rachel or Thomas could be related. Neither has a father. Plus, considering the characters are each around 18 years old, they couldn’t be directly related to anyone older (Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, etc.) So these two characters are not Skywalkers, Organas or Solos.

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How do all my fellow Force-Sensitive Peoples feel about this? Frankly, I’d love it. If they can move the Skywalkers and Solos to an auxiliary role, it’ll allow the franchise to begin to breath some new life.