‘X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST’ SYNOPSIS: NOTHING MAKES F**KING SENSE
The official synopsis for X-Men: Days of Future Past has dropped, and none of it makes very much sense to me. I’m glad (in that ironic, sarcastic, miserable sort of way) to see that all my fucking fears about the movie have been confirmed in this pile of gibberish.
We confirmed a few X-Men: Days of Future Past villains in today’s Morning Spoilers, but now a new synopsis of the film has arrived, explaining exactly how the modern X-Menmovie universe will connect, but this raises a whole new set of problems.
In Singer’s take, Ellen Page returns as Kitty from the Brett Ratner–directed X-Men: The Last Stand, but this time she uses her powers to send Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine back into the past, where he encounters the younger mutants played by James McAvoy, Jennifer Lawrence, and Michael Fassbender. However, something bad happens to Kitty during the time-travel trance, and while Wolverine is still under her spell, the other X-Men must race to find a mutant who can siphon Kitty’s powers and bring their friend back to the future.
How the hell do Kitty Pryde’s phasing powers send Wolverine back in time? What the hell does “Wolverine is still under her spell” even mean? How are they going to siphon Kitty’s powers if Rogue took the mutant cure in X-Men 3? And none of this answers how a 30-something Emma Frost was running around in the ’60s, but 16-year-old Emma Frost was freed along with young Cyclops in the ’80s or whenever the hell that last bit of X-Men Origins: Wolverine was set.
[io9]
My main grievance with this synopsis is how fucking Wolverine-centric the entire son of a bitch happens to be. Like, he is stumbling around in the fucking future trying to get out? That ain’t my Days of Future Past. I know Wolverine being the centerpiece is to be expected, given his popularity. But can’t we have him rocketing forward into the Future to prevent the Darkest of Timelines? They don’t need to fellate the tired performance by Jackman any longer. First Class ruled, and it only had the chucklehead as a cameo. Eh, whatever. Maybe the synopsis just blows. Right?