MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE: Punch bowl Hallucinations
Truth be told, I have spent more time searching for the header image for this column than I will end up spending writing it. Whatever. The really juicy nougats come from the give and take inside the comments section, right? My part is to serve as but the catalyst for the gals and guys of OL to begin their weekly wanking. I settled on an image by my good friend Brian Galiano. A couple years back, homeboy drummed up countless works (well, you could count them, but I’m lazy) to accompany Rendar’s novella DEFEAT. If you’ve never read the son of a bitch, start here. Anyways, this is Monday Morning Commute. The column where we elaborate on the distractions coating existence just enough on a given week to give us through the malaise.
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Playing – Dead Space 2.
Because the third one is coming out, and I can barely remember what happened in my life last week. Let alone what the fuck happened in a video game I played three years ago.
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Watching – Always Sunny on Netflix.
I never realized how much Always Sunny I hadn’t seen. Maybe I should never have figured out how much I had missed. I love me some Always Sunny, but these older episodes I’ve been enjoying for the first time are sheer madness. Everyone loses their fastball, and I still love the Gang. However, my lord. For three seasons or so, they were firing on all pistons.
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Still really excited for: J.J. Abrams and Episode VII
This weekend, Rendar and me stared into one another’s eyes and repeated the phrase “Abrams” for a solid six hours. We saw one another’s soul. Coincidentally both souls looked like little kids swinging lightsabers and accidentally breaking things.
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Wanting to eat – Them delicious Valentine’s Day candy hearts.
Listen, we all know I love pure fucking sugar. Pure sugar! And soon, we will be entering into the most glorious time of the year. Jelly Bean Time. We’re not there yet, oh no, but there is a delicious gut-patting appetizer on store shelves. Delightfully consisting of pure sugar, and slightly crunchy, I can’t wait until the candy that has rotted my teeth for three decades finally cracks several of those teeth.
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Reading – Not enough.
Straight up, I need to read more. Outside of the weekly comic books that I purchase and (barely) read, my entire reading selection is derived from my RSS Feed. I mean, those are like, thousands of headlines a day. Nothing of substance, though. I need to correct that sort of behavior. My mind rots whilst my teeth rot, and you’re all going to be the ones to pay for it. Give me another year of this. You’ll find me stumbling into your front lawn, without pants or teeth. My spittle will slather your windows, as I scream about the impending Robopocalypse. It wouldn’t be too upsetting, perhaps even benign insanity, if I wasn’t fretfully tugging at my diminutive and sad penis. Tugging at it, screaming, “get the salamander off my belly!”
Just you wait.
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What are you fine folks up to?