THE ROCK + Brett Ratner = ‘HERCULES’ in 2014. Oh, it’ll be a disasterpiece.

I like me some Rock. Dwayne Johnson. Whatever. However, Brett Ratner smells like twice-baked farts. Homeboy makes Michael Bay look like a fucking auteur. I said it! Come and get me. Pretty much anything that guy is attached to, I’m going to look at with a heavy slathering of skepticism. So with those two teaming up for Hercules, the outcome can only be prepared for.

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Yep, it’s officially official. Late last year, MGM and Paramount decided to team up to back the Brett Ratner directed “Hercules,” starring Dwayne Johnson. We hoped that it might be a cruel joke on us all, but alas, it’s moving forward.

The studios have announced that the film will now land in theaters on August 8, 2014. Based on the graphic novel “Hercules: The Thracian War,” the story follows Hercules and his crew of mercenaries, who are hired by the King Of Thrace to prepare his men for war. A lot of body grease and yelling follows, we presume. The script was first penned by Ryan Condal, who also wrote Alex Proyas‘ aborted “Paradise Lost,” with a rewrite from Evan Spiliotopolous (“Snow White and the Huntsman“).

Production will obviously roll at some point this year and if anything, this project further cements Johnson as a tentpole star. At one time this was set up at Warner Bros. with Peter Berg directing, which probably would’ve been preferable to this. But hey, we’re willing to be surprised, so prove us wrong, Ratner. [Deadline]