The Slumber Party Manifesto

But this solution of sleep, dynamic in segmenting the day, will also work wonders for specialized segments of the voting public. The various voting blocs, though nonetheless united by fatigue, can be certain that there are diverse takeaways by supporting the Slumber Party, and each one is advantageous to their particular focus, to which they so loyally cleave.

Although every voting bloc would prosper from slumber, here are three pertinent illustrations at work:

The business voting bloc would be hard-pressed to find a more successful bargaining chip than to fully endorse sleeping on it. A simple statement expressing who has the power in negotiations,  it would give a competitive edge that carries over from the smallest to largest industries—and the bigger the business, the better the sleep. At the very least, such an endorsement would add a personal touch to backroom dealings in politics and to the overall personhood of the corporation itself. But, more important than that, if new ventures are deemed optimal once they arise, sleeping on it could also be used to take care of the workforce by signaling to personnel that, after laboring for so long, they could use some rest and they should take notice. It would be good for every company man across the board as well as the entire company. Moreover, in the larger scope, the hustle and bustle of the global economy is empowered by dormancy in many sectors of the world, and backing the resourceful qualities of sleep is a guaranteed enterprise in these recesses. Businessmen and employers who take on this creative initiative will be most pleased by the end products, so much so that there will be no going back from it.

In this nation that values religious freedom, the Religious Right has done its part in working diligently to spread its moral cause, pressing on so that the movement can be witnessed throughout the country. But those who profess this faithfulness, who see it through by bringing their belief to the lost and blind, must relieve themselves of their duties—not as an act to reduce their devotion, but to perfect it—because they themselves have lost sight of a very divine truth: Good sleep is as heavenly an activity as good work. For after creating the world, God rested on the seventh day. He necessitated that rest be an eventual component of all work, especially in any extended vocation. Having toiled continuously without rest, the Religious Right ought to catch up with God. That way, pious exertion shall be more than simply thorough and obvious when set separate by sleep for effect; it shall be holy and revelatory to everyone. So for those who truly love God and push to remake the world without end, in good faith, give God a rest that even He would want these days.

Finally, the staunchest proponents of military action would also profit from more sleep. Always on guard from keeping every conceivable terrorist at bay, this band of brothers has already taken on too much for the sake of safety. Their acts of national defense are awe-inspiring, their dedication indomitable, especially when a very real level of commitment has died down in others, previously engaged in the fight. While the public has been afforded the safekeeping to rest, this band has held America up to a standard of security never seen before. But now it would be in their best interest to rejoin the nation at peace; the band has earned their own respite from drumming up these conditions themselves. And at long last at home, recharging their batteries after making the call for sleep, their modernized battle hymn will still resound proudly—the droning hums, and beating drums of their own booming company, a soothing lullaby as they rest their heads at night. If anyone deserves to be sleepers, it is surely these happy few.