Arnold Schwarzenegger returning to ‘CONAN’ for new flick. Dear Gods.

Speaking of moobs, Arnie is returning to the Conan franchise. ‘Cause nothing is as imposing as a flabby old bastard running around all jacked up on the HGH I assume he is going to take to get into shape for the flick. Let the sleeping does lay. I beg you.

/Film:

Conan’s wheel has turned again, however, and Schwarzenegger is stepping back into the role for The Legend of Conan, which is being described as “Conan’s Unforvigen.”

Deadline reports that Universal will release the film, produced by Fredrik Malmberg of Paradox Entertainment, which holds the Conan rights, and Chris Morgan, writer of the last four Fast and Furious Films. Morgan came up with the story and might script. Universal wants this one to be in theaters for summer 2014.

This film will pretend that Arnie’s second film (Conan the Destroyer) didn’t happen, and will also ignore the 2011 reboot. Malmberg said,

The original ended with Arnold on the throne as a seasoned warrior, and this is the take of the film we will make. It’s that Nordic Viking mythic guy who has played the role of king, warrior, soldier and mercenary, and who has bedded more women than anyone, nearing the last cycle of his life. He knows he’ll be going to Valhalla, and wants to go out with a good battle…This movie picks up Conan where Arnold is now in his life, and we will be able to use the fact that he has aged in this story. I love the property of Conan so much that I wouldn’t touch it unless we came up with something worthy. We think this is a worthy successor to the original film. Think of this as Conan’s Unforgiven.

The catch is that they don’t know if the film will be R-rated, which seems like a shaky place to start. If you’re going to play directly to fans of the original film by bringing Arnie back, the new film has to have a similar tone. Morgan addresses that question:

Will that level of violence be there? Absolutely, but only if it serves a character who lives by that barbarian law of the wild, who is capable of extreme violence and rage, but who has created his own code and operates from within it. By the end of that film, Conan became a certain character, and this film picks him up there, as he faces different challenges that include dealing with age.