The Dude’s High 5s: TV Criminals
Last week I covered TV cops. This week we’ll hit the second part of the equation. The Crooks. These are the guys that break the law, yet in some odd way, we root for them. We see stories from their point of view. Sometimes they make decisions that we ourselves would make. Its hard to demonize them when we can see a bit of ourselves in their characterizations. So here we go. My top TV criminals.
5. Stringer Bell (The Wire)
Have you watched The Wire yet? If no, please, please, PLEASE watch it. Don’t rob yourself of the scariest drug dealer of all time. With a flow of stereotypical gang bangers and the romanticized Italian mafia types, I’d still be more afraid of String. He’s the business wing of the Barksdale crime syndicate. Part of that means he handles logistics (the muscle). He’s smart, capable, and charismatic. No wonder it took so long to bring him down. As a side note, Congrats to Idris Elba for making both lists. I’m sure he’s celebrating this victory.
4. Boyd Crowder (Justified)
Boyd might be my favorite white supremacist. Ok, maybe he’s in second place after Dave Chapelle’s blind white supremacist. That still takes nothing away from the man. When we first meet Boyd, he’s just hillbilly trash. After he gets shot by Raylan, something in him changes. Its almost like a piece of Raylan flew into Boyd and altered his perception. Of course it could also be that getting shot in the chest has that effect on people. I’ll run some tests and get back to you.
3. Dexter Morgan (Dexter)
I’ll be honest, I haven’t watched Dexter in a while. After Season 4, I had no idea how to continue with this character without ruining it. Against my wishes, I was convinced to watch season 5. It was indeed sub-par. However, before that, Dexter (the show) was amazing. Part of that has to do with the main character. Well, all of it does, I dislike most of the non Matsuka/Doaks side characters. Dexter’s disconnect with reality, along with his odd code of morality make for an interesting combination. This of course goes back to his father Harry’s dilemma. How do you make a person who needs to kill fit into society? Simple, give him rules he can follow.
2. Omar Little (The Wire)
Yea I have two character from the Wire up here. If you watched the show you’d understand. And for those of you who did watch the show, accept my deepest apology for not making Omar my number 1. Please feel free to right this wrong by doing it yourself, and then lambasting me for it. Omar is the avatar of street justice. Like Dexter he has a code. If you are in the game, you are fair game. Also, don’t fuck with his nana on Sunday. The way a show like the Wire handles a character like Omar is magical. Any other show would have fucked him up. Well, maybe except for …
1. Walter White and Jessie Pinkman (Breaking Bad)
… Breaking Bad. Lets get down to brass tacks here. “You guys [Walt and Jessie] suck at selling meth” – Saul Goodman. Its true, they are bad criminals. At least to start with. Their only saving grace is Walt’s intelligence and his relationship with the DEA. When the show first started, I would root for Walt, and want to see Jessie arrested. Now that is a complete opposite. I want Jessie to find a nice place to settle down and live the rest of his life in peace, while Walt has a shootout with DEA. The changes that these two characters undergo throughout the series should be used to teach dramatic scriptwriting classes for the next 100 years. In the world of TV, most shows are popcorn. Good for a snack, but nothing I want to eat for a meal. Shows like Breaking Bad are the Buffalo Chicken Calzones (The Wire too). I hate that I have to wait a year for the last chapter in the story, but I love that it has a set end date, and won’t just end with them in some special kind of heaven where they existed and were waiting for everyone to die so they could meet up and then all move on to the real heaven together.
So what law breakers do you folks root for, despite them killing people and selling drugs, and other sort of illegal activities?