The Dude’s High 5s: Superpowers

Hello friends.  Look, I’ve been doing this for a while now and its about time we had that talk.  There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it.  You’re a geek.  If you’re reading this, then there is some part of you that is a geek, plain and simple.  Don’t bother denying it.  Its ok, there’s nothing wrong with it.  I certainly don’t mean it as a pejorative.  After all if you are simply a geek for reading this, what does that say about the guy writing it?  So today we’re going to tackle The Geek Question.  That question is of course what super powers would you want to have?  Lift them from books, movies or comics, or simply make your own.  No rules here.  Hit the jump to see mine, and don’t be shy in the comments about yours.

5. Telekinesis

This is a staple of any super powered being.  The ability to move things with your mind.  I would imagine with time you could learn to lift and move larger and larger objects.  This would also be a blast at parties.

4. Teleportation

I hate traveling.  Packing, dealing with security, traffic, other people, hijackers, rabid masterless jackals, crying babies, parking meters, all of it.  I HATE it.  Teleportation would solve all of that.  It would give me immense personal freedom.  Also, by having an innate ability to teleport, I would no longer have to worry about using a machine and becoming Brundlfly.

3. Shapeshifting

This has always been a personal favorite of mine.  Shapeshifting has so many uses.  Mainly infiltration, grifting, and spying.  But its also great for sheading unwanted pounds.  Skip the gym and keep eating those buffalo chicken calzones.  Not to mention that its pretty much a reset button on your life if things get really bad.

2. Immortality

I’m lifting this one right out of Highlander.  Except there would be no other immortals out there looking to saw off my head.  And lets be honest, even if there were, I could teleport, shapeshift, and use telekinesis (not to mention my first choice of power.)  Some make the argument that being immortal would be depressing as you would get to watch everyone you care about die over and over.  That certainly is a down side, but I think I could learn to cope with it.

1. Time Manipulation

This is not straight up time travel.  This would be the ability to speed up or slow down the passage of time.  Even stop it altogether.   Since I’d be immortal, my lifespan would be infinite, so I could slow time to a crawl and get a nice 8 hour sleep cycle in while the rest of the world stays in stasis.  Want to win in the casino?  Play black Jack.  Stop time and take a look at the dealer’s cards.  Want to be a great athlete?  Being able to move faster than anyone is a great start.  Got a pressing decision to make on the spur of the moment? Time manipulation literally gives you all the time in the world.

So what super powers would you folks want?