Monday Morning Commute: BROCK AT THE MOON.
What’s up, friends. It is Powered by Caffeine here. Rendar can’t come tonight. He’s in the woods with a couple of other friends, howling six-word odes dedicated to Hemingway. Prior to uttering these supplications to Lieutenant Shotgun Suicide, they strip down to their underwear and chest-chop each other while telling one another how fucking masculine it is to take five fingers off the sternum. It is not until their pectoral muscles are bright red and they’re wheezing that they bark at the moon. It is an annual late summer festival, and I dare not come between him and such a spectacle. So here I sit, grinding away on the Mothership per usual. This here is Monday Morning Commute, the column where we give the rundown on the various arts and crafts we’re enjoying on a given week.
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Playing – Dead Space
I’m just killing time until Borderlands 2 comes out. And Assassin’s Creed 3. And Dishonored. And probably something else I’m missing. Read? Ha! Fuck you. Let me detach from reality in Gothic gory science-fiction madness. Do you know what, though? I want to be playing Sleeping Dogs. Anyone here enjoying it? I can’t justify snagging it, since I am not sure I’ll get to enjoy it prior to the Fall crunch.
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Anticipating – Fan Expo
On Wednesday, Patrick Bateman, Rendar, Allen, Clyde, Steve, Mark, Stinky Louis and me are fitting ourselves into a 1994 Honda Civic and clambering our way to Toronto. Once there we anticipate slinging New England clam chowder all over the people daring enough to pass us by on the convention floor. I’m pretty stoked to be attending a convention, unveiling both our merchandise and our chiseled physiques. All right, well, not chiseled. But we don’t smell too poorly and we’re wont to smile at those who are kind to us.
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Dreading – No Diet Mountain Dew
As Rendar intimated in his cute little Yankee Gone To Canada series, Diet Mountain Dew doesn’t exist in the Greater North. It has been supplanted by culled maple syrup grinded up and mixed with melted hockey puck. Ah! Inane cultural comedy! Wakka, wakka! No seriously though, I’m sweating the withdrawal. Whatever sort of soda they do have there, I’ll have to triple down on to supplemented the lesser caffeine doses. Should things go terrible, I’ll be the guy sweating profusely and screaming that I can’t understand the Multiverse.
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Reading – Masters of Doom by David Kushner
I just finished reading a pretty brills book about the formation of id Software and the falling out between Carmack and Romero. Really interesting time for a dude like me who surfed the machine gun-and-blood zeitgeist that these two bastards engineered. Seeing the inner workings that both propelled the motherfuckers and also ripped them apart was a trip. I recommend this to anybody who grew up in the ultraviolet 1990s and cut their teeth on video games they shouldn’t have been playing.
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So that is my swag, folks. What are you digging on?