#July2012
JONATHAN HICKMAN’S ‘FANTASTIC FOUR’ outline is infographic Richards porn.
Whilst coming to an end, Jonathan Hickman’s run on Fantastic Four has been one of my favorite extended takes on a superhero rag ever. Goodness me, there’s a twinkle in my eye just thinking about it. Let’s side-step wanking on the variety of tropes used, philosophical themes discussed, and what I found to be its endearing and powerful final message: it’s about family, stupid, and focus on something else. The run was meticulously plotted with an absurd amount of storylines running concurrently through years of work.
How’d Hickman pull it off? This boner-inducing outline.
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Disney World kicks dude out for looking TOO MUCH like Santa Claus. Harsh, yo.
What sort of hell do we live in, when two fat pigs of capitalistic child-warping can’t live in harmony? I beg you.
Apple buys patent-rich security firm for $356, barely choking back evil cackles whilst doing so.
Apple has snagged up a security firm who is fat-gutted on a glut of patents. I’m sure their evil maestros could barely contain their priapisms and sloppy loins when they finished this deal.
Friday Brew Review: VJ Black Imperial Stout
Welcome to the Friday Brew Review!
For the uninitiated, I feel obligated to provide a few words of warning. There exists an entire community full of individuals who’ve spent years fine-tuning their appreciation for beer. The knowledgeable members of this community approach beer-drinking with a cultural respect, honoring the legacy of brewing that’s been weaving itself throughout the entire narrative of human existence. They come together – sometimes at respected websites – to discuss the current state of the beer world. In many ways, these aficionados are like a beer-enthusiast version of the Justice League.
But if that’s the case, then I’m definitely fulfilling the role of Plastic Man.
Whereas my peers use concise language and agreed-upon formats to review beer, I just go for it. In the course of a review, I’ll ramble and use too many pop culture references and showcase my ignorance of the brewing process. But I’ll be damned if my reviews aren’t entertaining (even if only in that, “Honey, slow down so I can see the wreckage before it explodes” sort of way).
Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!
Today, I’m sippin’ on VJ Black Imperial Stout.
‘FINAL FANTASY VII’ goes 2D papercraft figures. We all win.
Final Fantasy VII ain’t getting remade in HD any time soon. That would make too much sense, and if there’s anything Square has demonstrated over the last decade, it is that they lack that. For now, sate your Cloudian hunger on some glorious 2D paper figures of the cast by George Alexopoulos.
DAN HARMON and FOX working on deal for new comedy. TAKE THAT, DARKEST TIMELINE.
I’m not an asshole, okay? Well, I am. But I know that what made Community special was a coalescing of a variety of things, of which it’ll he hard to replicate. That said, how can I not get stoked that Danny Harmon is working on a new comedy with Fox?
Todd McFarlane comic cover sells for a record $657,250. That’s a lot of junior bacon cheeseburgers.
If I was a rich dude, this is exactly the sort of stuff I would splurge on, collecting comic book covers for my compound on Mars. However, I’m a broke-ass graduate student, so this all just seems excessive to me.
GPS vulnerabilities could allow hackers to take over smartphones. HACK THE PLANET.
I’m often weary of leet hackers taking over my smartphone, intercepting my signals. That’s why I only speak in slurred hate regarding sports teams, and pictures I found off of Tumblr with my friends. Turns out I was right.
Cosplay: Sexy Nyan Cat is meme legend gone frisky.
First Chewbacca, and now this? I don’t know. Feel like the internet is daring me. Daring me to feel things in my loins that once had me in the dungeon, getting sprayed daily with the fire hose until the beast subsided. Now with these pictures, I feel it lurking again. Tender claws massaging my lobes, quietly questioning why I don’t let it take control.
Press Start: Gilbert gripes and arcade cabinet wipes
Summer is traditionally not a great time for the gaming industry; it’s quiet, a little too quiet…if you know what I mean. It’s fine, though; I understand; those hard working men and women of the gaming industry spend the majority of their time chained to desks in dank dungeon-like offices, dreaming of the world beyond their cubicle. Perhaps I’ve read JPod too many times, but I feel like those kids deserve a break. That said, writing this column sure isn’t easy when the entire industry decides to take a break from making much of anything happen. Still, we shall prevail. Until winter: courage.
