One of the problems of being both bipolar and posting news and reacting to it immediately is that I often find myself oscillating. ‘Cause I’m crazy and also cause I don’t allow myself much time before passing the swag along to you folks. So despite my initial reaction and desired stance, I’m getting a tickle in my balls for Uncanny Avengers.

Here’s John fucking Cassaday’s cover.

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NASA has pulled the tarp away covering their new passenger-powered space shuttle thingy sumbitch. Meet the Orion Space Capsule.

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Remember that whole cadre of young actresses who were being considered for the role of Johanna Mason in Catching Fire? They’ve been picked apart, leaving only one. Jena Malone. You know her. She gives Kristen Stewart a run for “that disaffected woman who sort of can only show one emotion, and usually that emotional is ‘heavily sedated’, but certain groups fawn over her.”

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Score one for my childhood. One of my favorite goddamn games ever is getting an HD re-release.

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Heck yeah. Ain’t nothing like an Amazonian beauty smashing with both her looks and glaive. I picture Wonder Woman with a glaive. Makes her way more choice.

[In an attempt to expand his insular perspective, Rendar Frankenstein became An American in Canada! Join Rendar as he tells of the wonders encountered while traveling through North America’s most jovial nation. It’s one-third travel guide and three-fourths misguided interpretation!]

The greatest attribute of any chemical dependency is its steadfast resolve. Olympic athletes may have an incredible level of focus, but even their efforts are diminutive when saddled next to those of an honest addiction. There are no external forces that’ll curb the insatiable appetite of a chemically-inspired jonesin’.

So even though I’d crossed borders and time zones, I still had that damn monkey on my back.

However, if you’re anticipating sordid tales about my forfeiture of oral dignity in exchange for heroin, you’re likely to be disappointed. I know, I know, I’d be much more artistically inclined if I used the drug preferred by the great songwriters of my generation and my parents’. Moreover, if I was going to break drug laws in another country, I might as well jump to the zombie-conclusion and rock some bath salts.

But alas, I’m a simple man and my substance of choice is good `ole fashioned caffeine.

As such, I had no doubt that I’d be able to cop a fix in Canada. After all, my two favorite types of caffeinated beverage – coffee and soda pop – are celebrated in every corner of Spaceship Earth. Nevertheless, there were some interesting differences in the modes of caffeine-delivery available to me during my Canadian adventure.

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The Microsoft Leviathan has gobbled up a string of names under the “Xbox 8” umbrella. You can only think maybe they’re going to tea-bag their next console with a title that dove-tails into their upcoming operating software update.

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I don’t know why anyone is acting like they don’t totally know that Iron Man 3’s plot is going to be centered around the “Extremis” storyline by Warren Ellis. Lest you remain unconvinced, check out this concept art.

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Don’t pay attention to the fact that no one is saying we’ve actually found the Higgs Boson and just be sensational. It’s the Fourth of July. I’m sure you’re lubed up on oak sodas and seared animal flesh. Let’s dance.

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Happy 4^th of July everyone.  Today we Americans get to celebrate the birth of our country by eating too much, drinking copious amounts of booze, and then when we’re just about to pass out, play with explosives.  Take that Belarus!  In your face Mongolia!  Catch you on the flip side Latveria!  Since we all love freedom so much, let’s take this opportunity to actually recognize what we have.  This week’s High 5 will take a look at what the world would look like with either too much control, or not enough control.  There are some movies that tackle the subject quite well.  So let’s hear it for the dystopias!

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