#July2012
Marvel Ending NINE TITLES In October As MARVEL NOW! Kicks Off. Groan. They’ll Be Back.
Marvel is ending nine goddamn titles this October as their Marvel NOW! initiative gets underway. Goddamn ridiculous. Half of these titles have already been ended in the past year or so. How many #1 issues can Captain America or Invincible Incredible Wonderful Iron Man have?
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PLUTO Has A FIFTH MOON, Still No Goddamn Respect.
Pluto. It can’t catch a break. Despite having like, a zillion moons (four) with like a million more found (a fifth), it still isn’t a pluto. What the hell is up with that.
New ‘BATMAN’ Game Is Prequel To ‘ARKHAM ASYLUM’, Features Justice League.
The next Batty-Man video game is going to be all up in the prequel bidness. Not only that, Flying Rodent Fans, it is also going to feature the Justice League.
This Camera Can Detect Cancer Cells In Real Time. Yeah, Science!
I don’t know if it’s going to be prostrate cancer, or Diet Dew-chemicals induced brain cancer that knocks me off the top rope. I don’t know which one shall do it. However, I’m glad that there’s all sorts of wonderful medicinal technological wunder-things arriving into the world to screen my dumb ass when the day comes.
Eli Roth To Direct ‘HARKER’ With Russell Crowe As Dracula. This Sort Of Sucks.
I just spent two weeks in grad school learning about the awesomeness that is Dracula. One of the things I took away from it was how the original work has been beaten into paste and abused by pop culture. Eli Roth intends on continuing this trend.
The Dude’s High 5s: Top 5 80s Hair Band Ballads
Hello loyal OLers. It’s time for another obligatory musical High 5. As I’ve admitted in the past, I know nothing of music despite actually being able to play a few instruments (besides the skin flute). Today we’re looking back at yesteryear towards a magical time known as the ‘80s. It was an amazing time to be alive. MTV played music videos, Saturday mornings were filled with quality cartoons, and Han still shot first. Also our rock was filled with hair. The bad boy image was all the rage. However, beyond that tough exterior our rockers wanted us to know they had feelings and shit. So here we go; my top 5 ballads by ‘80s hair metal bands. [Note: While some of the songs may have been recorded outside of the 80s, the bands themselves existed as hair bands in the 80s]
Cosplay: This DUKE NUKEM Is All The Roided Brodude You Could Hope For!
Yo, Dude. Glad to see you’re doing aiight. I mean last year Forever dropped and it stank worse than your protein-heavy roid dumps. You ain’t letting that get you down, and that’s a good thing. Stay strong.
TRENT REZNOR Does ‘BLACK OPS 2’ Theme Song. Ehhhhhh, Que?
Imma buy and play Black Ops 2, because it has joined Thanksgiving and gaining twenty pounds as perennial November habits of mine. Now I know I’ll be partying to a uh, wait what?, theme song by Trent Rezzy when I boot the fucker up.
No New DC Comic Movies For At Least Three Years, Post Bats-Man And Superguy
While Marvel continues to churn out new iterations of their Movie Monolith, it appears that the DC response is…silence. After Dark Knight Rises and Superdouche drop, there isn’t anything on the immediate horizon.
‘THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY Gets Split Into Two Flicks. Should Be One Flick, Thrown Into Garbage.
I joke about The Hunger Games. Tease it a little. Despite this, I think it’s a solid young adult book. Mockingjay isn’t. It’s a turd sandwich, and they are fashioning it into two flicks. Either this is going to allow the movie to breath in ways the final book didn’t, or its going to be four hours of barely-mediocrity.
