The Dude’s High 5s: Girl Power – Top 5 Kickass Female Protagonists
With Mother’s Day fast approaching I wanted to pay homage to the fairer sex in some way. I thought to myself; why not send out a High 5 to the kickass ladies of Hollywood? I wanted to steer clear of the Suzy-Homemakers and the Damsel in Distress tropes that pop up everywhere. So here we go, 5 ladies that kickass and take names … no word on their stance on bubble gum.
5. Leeloo (The 5th Element)
If you don’t like the 5th Element, then I’m sorry, we’re going to have a hard time being friends. The movie has everything you could want, Bruce Willis, Gary Oldman … there, that’s everything you could want. Leeloo may start out needing protection, but by the end she goes full beast mode. Bruce Willis does his best, but in the end he’s outshined by a 90lb girl with bright orange hair.
4. Clarice Starling (Silence of the Lambs)
Clarice Starling’s task was not easy. Get into the mind of the word’s smartest and craftiest serial killer and attempt to get him to help you catch another smart and crafty serial killer. The very notion of opening yourself to a man like Hannibal Lecture reminds me of the Nietzsche quote “… when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.” Sure that quote pops up a lot in the disaffected youth circles and with people who are trying to make it appear that they have culture (like myself) but in this case it rings true. Clarice has to put her own demons into the spotlight to appease a man who will twist her mind into knots with them to help another woman whom she’s never even met.
Clarice may not be as physical as the rest of the women on this list, but that doesn’t mean she’s any less capable.
3. Ellen Ripley (Alien, Aliens, Alien 3 … and grudgingly Alien Resurrection)
If I had a daughter and I asked her what she wanted to be she grew up, the best answer in the world would be “Ellen Ripley”. Are there really movie antagonists scarier than the Xenomorphs? I personally don’t think so. And what does Ripley do? She beats them. Consistently. Look if I have to explain why Ellen Ripley kicks ass, then you obvious have some movies to watch.
2. Sarah Connor (Terminator 2)
I’m only including the T2 Sarah Conner as the T1 Sara was pretty much dead weight to Reece. I also choose to ignore the Sarah Conner Chronicles. Put aside the time travel paradoxes that appear and you have one of the greatest action flicks of all time.
Sarah has been charged with raising humanity’s last hope. The fact that this child, fathered by a soldier from the future, is numero uno on the robot’s hit list doesn’t make her miss a beat. She also has a stock pile of weapons that would make anyone stand up and take notice.
1. The Bride/ Beatrix Kiddo (Kill Bill vol 1 & 2)
I love the Kill Bill movies. I’m fairly certain Tarantino made them with the intent of throwing every type of movie genre into a coherent and cohesive story. From film noir to anime to waxing poetic about Superman, the movies have everything. I can’t think of a pair of films that have such a wide transition from scene to scene.
At the heart of the tale is The Bride. She goes on quite the murderous rampage to avenge the supposed death of her child. Sure the physics may be a bit wonky and there is more blood per scene then any 3 movies, but that’s part of the charm. As a man-child, I cannot fully appreciate the rage one would feel when confronted with the loss of a child. So when the Bride goes nutso and starts ginsuing people left and right, I just bob my head and follow along. I know I won’t get it. I don’t care.
So happy Mother’s Day to all you kickass ladies out there. Oh, and one more thing I want to mention about Leeloo. She has given my generation the “Golden Bikini” of cosplay. Don’t believe me, check this page out … may not totally be safe for work, so I’m warning you now.