You Can Now Legally KILL BIGFOOT In Texas. Outstanding.

I don’t know about you, but I’m really friggin’ concerned with Bigfoot. The son of a bitch is all out there, starring in beef jerky advertisements and haunting our woods. The people of Texas share my concern. They share this concern so much they’ve made it legal  to cap the motherfucker.

io9:

Cryptomundo reader John Lloyd Scharf sent a letter to the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department about whether it would be legal to kill Bigfoot, and apparently department Chief of Staff L. David Sinclair replied that killing an indigenous cryptid would be legal since it isn’t listed as a game animal:

The statute that you cite (Section 61.021) refers only to game birds, game animals, fish, marine animals or other aquatic life. Generally speaking, other nongame wildlife is listed in Chapter 67 (nongame and threatened species) and Chapter 68 (nongame endangered species). “Nongame” means those species of vertebrate and invertebrate wildlife indigenous to Texas that are not classified as game animals, game birds, game fish, fur-bearing animals, endangered species, alligators, marine penaeid shrimp, or oysters. The Parks and Wildlife Commission may adopt regulations to allow a person to take, possess, buy, sell, transport, import, export or propagate nongame wildlife. If the Commission does not specifically list an indigenous, nongame species, then the species is considered non-protected nongame wildlife, e.g., coyote, bobcat, mountain lion, cotton-tailed rabbit, etc. A non-protected nongame animal may be hunted on private property with landowner consent by any means, at any time and there is no bag limit or possession limit.

An exotic animal is an animal that is non-indigenous to Texas. Unless the exotic is an endangered species then exotics may be hunted on private property with landowner consent. A hunting license is required. This does not include the dangerous wild animals that have been held in captivity and released for the purpose of hunting, which is commonly referred to as a “canned hunt”.

So apparently, as long as you hunt Bigfoot on private property with the permission of the property holder, you are allowed to kill it. I’m a bit surprised, however, that spotting a previously undocumented animal doesn’t automatically transform it from a nonexistent animal into an endangered one. Then again, I suppose rare evidence isn’t evidence of rarity.

I’m just glad to know that if such an animal existed we wouldn’t waste any frivolous energy on studying it. Who has time for that this? We’ll shoot it and move on our way. ‘Merica, baby!