THIS WEEK ON Eastbound & Down – Chapter 19
Mother of Satan! EB&D takes the family circus to levels never before unseen, in what ends up more of an anthropologic character experience than an actual plot-progressing episode. I get it though. Not bitchin. I still believe. This week each vice is tidily accounted for, one by one, as we examine the true inner-workings of a southern dysfunctional family the likes of which produced such greatness that is, K fucking P.
Right off the bat we see where Kenny gets his mouth and penchant for sucka punchin, a la Tammy-momma. It’s probably tied for the best intro of the year so far, but that isn’t really saying much, they’ve been hovering at a B- all season. None have had me gut busted like when Kenny rage-crashes Stevie’s car into a boat. Or when Kenny acts as a coyote escorting Maria through the Mexican boarder using his fame as a smuggler’s tool. But whaterr. It was cool. Anyway.
Momma bear busts out her bowling tourney, and heads for home with her prodigal son Kenny said to return. At the front door meet n’ greet, Kenny reveals he is harboring a stowaway, in the form of father dearest, Eduardo Sanchez. Here we are privy to yet another of KP’s inherited gifts: dramatic entrances drenched in awkward sauce. Lacking a Denali with a system and a built in bluetooth mic, Eduardo makes the best of a sheet of paper in this stunt. It made the highlight reel on an episode a little dry on the visuals.
Now that everyone is under the same roof, Tammy is on edge, so she and Kenny slip away to the trophy room to talk shop. After a hilarious exchange of pills, we see where KP gets his accelerated abilities in amateur pharmacology. Tammy is almost more adept than her son at knowing how to get her fix. Eduardo interrupts, and we make a quick segway to the bowling alley, where Tammy, the athlete, is most at home these days. See what they did there? Bowling mother/pitching son. Get it?
At the alley, Eduardo soaks up all Tammy’s attention, while a game of pool leads to a small brotherly rumble seen above. Stevie is around, but not important, which leads me to another inherited quirk. Tammy has a sidekick too. One can make a lot of assertions as to her role, but I think they intentionally put her in there to account for Stevie. Just sayin.
Speaking of Stevie- per usual in the family sodes, he is relegated to a minor role, which is a little saddening. For an episode to be A1 quality standard, I always prefer a healthy dose of Stevie coming of age 15 years too late. They have him looking all penis-like, and that’s cool, I guess, but you can only watch him puke so many times before it loses it’s luster. Apparently the vomit has something to do with his broken marriage. I wonder if he is going to end back up with Maria, or find a new love of equal ridiculousness. My bet is Maria comes back into the picture, but who knows for sure?
Back at the house, in the wee hours of the night KP tries to sneak some weed, but is busted by Tammy, who relegates Kenny for breaking the rule…the rule of mandatory sharing. Now this was a nostalgic high point for me, as the toilet paper roll filled with a dryer sheet provided ample smell cover. I was taken back to my early collegiate years where the practice was commonplace in the dorms. To see KP and his mom doing the same trick, was enough for me to lose it. I’m not sure the scene had the same resonance with everyone else, but to me, it just hit close to home.
At some point in the night, KP wakes to find Eduardo and Casper making away like bandits with Tammy’s good silver. I couldn’t make sense of the scene other than to show Kenny’s inherited aptitude for thievery, abandonment, and being a general piece of shit. All were framed up well in the scene. The two are chased off after a brief exchange, but not before exposing Kenny’s plan to ditch young Toby with his Grandmother. This is what I don’t get. It’s not the worst crime on earth to have an infant son in the care of a proper adult in a time of career and personal crisis. But whatever, it is seen as a sizable transgression here.
The next day, Kenny repents and returns to the bowling alley to make amends. When he arrives, he finds Eduardo coincidentally had the same plan. More apple/tree shit. The two combine their entrance skills into one super entrance through the butthole of two bowling lanes. They both present their cases for forgiveness, and Tammy accepts. With her family back in business, she goes on to roll 3 straight strikes and nabs the championship. Sound familiar? Reeks of foreshadow.
I guess this final upcoming episode is going to be an hour long or something, but I am not exactly sure, and too lazy to do the research. Here are my favorite quotes this week:
“No good luggin’ alot a hate around, it will give you ass cancer.”
“The man made of skin here is my nanny slash assistant, this disabled mouth breather minority, is my personal chef.”
“It’s super hard to be Charles in Charge when you’re not fuckin’ Scott Baio.”
“It means when life gets you all swirly and thought-ridden, shut it out. Let the two spherical sperm factories underneath your dick take over. They don’t think, they don’t get confused. They churn, and attack.”
“Unfortunately on the rocket ship of fame, there’s only room for one. Any added baggage will just weigh you down, hold you back from shootin’ for the fuckin’ stars. Blast off, bitch.”
“It’s true you both have hurt me deeply. But I’m no saint, and I have done my fair share of fucked up shit too. So it wouldn’t be fair to judge two men, who have either entered (Eddy), or exited (Kenny), my vagina. But your speeches have shown me that you really do care, and I accept your apologies.”
“If my madre is strong enough to be a man, then Kenny Powers is certainly strong enough to be a fucking woman.”