The Dude’s High 5’s: Top 5 Things I’d Buy If Money Was No Obstacle
The last two High 5s have been about something from the entertainment world. Because I don’t want to just throw pop schlock out there every week, I’m changing it up. This week is all about stupid shit I’d buy if money was no object. Come on in and toss your stupid dreams in the pile.
5. Red Sox Season Tickets
This is far and away the most practical item on my list. I love baseball. Maybe I love it too much. I’ll be honest, even if I had season tickets; I’m probably still only got to 10-15 games a season. I’m not into status symbols, but having season tickets to the Red Sox, GOOD season tickets, is something I’ve always wanted as a kid. Judging by my other childhood wish to survive puberty, owning a Jeep (which I do) this is all but assured.
4. Guns
You might not know this about the Dude, but I am gun people. I like them a lot. I like games with guns, I like TV shows with guns, and I love movies with guns. Now, I’m not a bloodthirsty lunatic. I was brought up around guns and have been instructed in their safety. If you’ve never popped off a few rounds at a range, on a beach, in the woods, or at an ex’s house then you don’t know the joy of shooting. Besides the fact that they are fun to shoot they are, from an engineering standpoint, beautiful. These machines are built for a purpose and are effective at it.
3. Hovercraft
Hovercrafts are just cool. The glide over most surfaces with ease. I’ll be honest. I have no idea how much one of these beasts cost. If you told me that the above model was 25 million dollars, I’d probably believe you. The problem would be of course buying two … I’d want to race them after all.
2. Flying Car
Transportation is very important to me. I like to get where I want to go fast and without much complications. What easier way that a flying car. Sure its just a plane with foldable wings, but how awesome would it be to just bomb down the highway and take off? Yea I know that’s not how it works, shut up, this is my dream.
1. Abandoned Missile Silo House
When the shit hits the fan and the zombies walk the Earth, I don’t want to be stuck with a bunch of psychotic assholes in the swamps of Georgia. No, I want to live here, in the Adirondack Mountains in upstate New York. The picture above is not just an artist’s rendition of what such a domicile would look like; this property is actually for sale for an insanely low $750,000. If any of you out there in Omega Land actually buy this, please consider hosting a party or two and toss your friendly neighborhood Dude an invite.
So what are your crazy stupid dreams? A space station? Burning down the original Starbuck? Scuttling the Love boat?