‘Expendables 2’ Is PG-13 Because Of Chuck Norris. Dude Sucks.

Confirmation of what I’ve known for a long time amid the Norris wanking throughout the years: he ain’t no Jean Claude. Latest case in point: his joining the cast of Expendables 2 has brought a PG-13 into the mix for the movie, thereby condemning it by precluding the only thing that would make it awesome: old douche ultra violence.

Slashfilm:

In a recent interview with the Polish site Gazeta, star Chuck Norris claimed that per one of his conditions for signing on to the project, The Expendables 2 would be cleaning up for a PG-13 classification. (The first Expendables movie received an R for violence and language.)

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Here’s my best attempt at transcribing Norris’ words – it’s difficult to hear him over the interpreter’s talking:

With The Expendables 2, you have a lot of hard language in there that means that means that young people won’t be able to see it. I said, I don’t do movies like that. I didn’t do them in the past, I didn’t do them on my TV series. I said, you have to cut out all the language, hardcore language or I can’t do it. So they did, and Expendables is now a PG-13 film so kids can see it.

The ExpendablesPremiere.com translation differs somewhat, but the overall message is similar:

In Expendables 2, there was a lot of vulgar dialogue in the screenplay. Fot this reason, many young people wouldn’t be able to watch this. But I don’t play in movies like this. Due to that I said I won’t be a part of that if the hardcore language is not ereased. Producers accepted my conditions and the movie will be classified in the category of PG-13.

Considering the first film’s emphasis on violent action sequences, it strikes me as absurd to pinpoint bad words as the reason the sequel could’ve been inappropriate for children and teens. And if Expendables 2 really is aiming for a PG-13 – and it’s possible it isn’t, since it’s ultimately not up to Norris – I’m guessing language won’t be the only compromise, either.

I understand where Norris is coming from, to a point, since he’s known for having strong moral convictions. It’s also easy to see why the studio might be eager to downgrade from an R to a PG-13, since the latter draws in bigger audiences. For grown-up fans hoping for unrestrained action, though, a PG-13 rating isn’t an auspicious sign.

Update: Here’s what Stallone had to say to AICN:

Harry, the film is fantastic with Van Damme turning in an inspired performance… Our final battle is one for the ages. The PG13 rumor is true, but before your readers pass judgement, trust me when I say this film is LARGE in every way and delivers on every level. This movie touches on many emotions which we want to share with the broadest audience possible, BUT, fear not, this Barbeque of Grand scale Ass Bashing will not leave anyone hungry…Sly

Oh well.