Saturday Brew Review – Clementine
Brunch is the most elusive member of la Famiglia Meal, leaving the house at the age of seventeen to follow Tesla on the road. A couple times a year, Brunch returns to do his laundry and borrow some cash. Without question, he’s the epitome of the prodigal son.
Today I was blessed by a visit from Brunch. Not only did he give me a big hug and recount his misadventures as a roadie, but he showed me his new tattoo. I never would have thought that Brunch would be blazoned with such a work of skin-art, but now I can’t picture him without it. Brunch has changed, irrevocably and for the better.
Brunch, as I learned today, is so much better when accompanied by a cold brew. Specifically, while eating my food I sipped on Clementine from the kind souls at the Clown Shoes Brewery.
Full disclosure – I purchased the beer well before I ever thought of drinking it with breakfast. As such, I kind of put the cart before the horse as I had to pair food with beverage (as opposed to the other way around). I wanted to make sure that whatever I ate would be a complement and so I made sure to investigate the ale at hand. Clementine, according to its own label, can be described in the following terms:
Clementine is a beer conceived in a dream, in the middle of a blistering beatdown of a day. We used clementine, sweet orange peel, coriander, and summit hops to smack that mean day upside the head with a refreshing clown shoe.
Hrm. It sounded good but I still wasn’t sure what it could go with. Looking for more information, I hit up the brewery website:
The latest offering from Clown Shoes Beers is a Belgian style White Ale. Light-bodied and crisp, this is a terrific seasonal packed with plenty of zest! Hazy in appearance and healthily carbonated, it utilizes Chambly yeast to energetically shape its wheat malt base. Incorporated in the brewing process is Clementine, sweet orange peel, a hint of Coriander, and Summit hops.
At a sly, easy-drinking 5.9%, Clementine is dynamic and flavorful enough to satisfy discerning craft beer palates, yet light enough to count among “sessionable” beers.
Poured high into a pint or traditional pilsner style glass, drinkers can sip away lazy summer afternoons. As for food pairings, it is the perfect compliment to a range of salads and seafoods or light cheeses such as Feta, Monterey and Gruyere.
Feta, Monterey and Gruyere? Perfect – I don’t have any of them! At this point, I just decided to throw caution to the wind and come up with my own pairing. I popped open the bottle of Clementine and took a reconnaissance sip. It has the distinct flavor of a white ale, going down smooth and crisply while delighting the tongue with some real zinger! notes. I think that the beverage tastes analogous to how a field of pretty flowers looks. Does that make sense? Possibly.
Anyways, as I slurped up Clementine I decided that it wasn’t too far off from a mimosa. Well, it’s a beer and there’s no orange juice – but it is a bit fruity and carbonated. As such, I decided to rock some eggs and a bagel for brunch. Not exactly five-star dining, I know, but it’s Saturday morning and I’m a bit too lazy for my own good. Let me take you through the steps of my ghetto-brunch experience.
I. Fry up some onions and garlic. Don’t burn the muthas, just get them to the point where they’re nice and golden and smelling damn fine.
II. Toss three eggs into the frying pan. Each time you crack an egg, make sure that you laugh diabolically and mutter something about “Death to chickenkind” under your breath. It makes the food taste better.
III. Introduce the eggs to a bagel. Ideally, use an everything-bagel since it has every flavor ever conceived of by the human brain. Including, well…human brain.
IV. Don’t forget the infinity pill, otherwise you can’t live forever.
So, what’s the verdict on Clementine? Well, it’s a splendid concoction to drink before noon on a Saturday. I promise you that. Also, it goes well with breakfast foods. It smells, looks, and tastes wonderful, so you should probably give it a shot.
A-